The Kingdom in Thailand

Last Pictures

2009-08-04T12:21:00.001-07:00

The pastor in front of the congregation at Boonchu's parents-in-law's village church.

Benz, Pat, Andrew, Tookata, Me, Go, Fon, Wit at the airport. What a great crew to see me off in my last moments.

Me and Am - my English tutoring student.

If you really want to know the story behind this, ask me in person. The end result - I'm a celebrity in Thailand.

Me and some Karen children on a bridge in Boonchu's village. Somehow we ended up throwing stones together from the bridge at a rock in the river.

Phil, David, me, and Boonchu. David has been adopted by Boonchu's parents-in-law, since David's mother died in childbirth. One of the sweetest, gentlest, smartest children I've ever met.

The amazing view from Boonchu's parents' porch.

The treacherous road of which I spoke in the post.

Me, Phil, and some people from a village, as well as some of their children!

The little set-up of our welcome. The Karen people were the most honestly hospitable people I've met. Coffee and fruit were at every house we visited.

Probably the most unflattering picture of me available. I thought I'd share.

Sitting at the Intro To Christianity get-together.

Human knot before the Intro to Christianity teaching.

My lonely self on my way to get my visa renewed in Cambodia.

The rooftop cookout. What an awesome idea - props to Phil.

The unfortunate disaster of a room that we ended up with by the end of the summer. Well, actually it looked like this within days of the interns' arrival.

Pat, me, Dan, Phil, and Go at the dairy farm.

Vine-swinging

Fon, Treay, Dan, Sarah, Tong, Alissa, Me, Hank, Dang, Jane, ?, Prem, Tookata, and Lisa on our last night in Bangkok.

Hank, Fon, me, Benz, and Jane.

Benz, Hank, and me on a river at Khao Yai. We had a great little adventure trying to find our way down and through this river. Cuts and wetness ensued.

A Journey Observed

2009-08-04T11:37:00.000-07:00

I am now sitting in my parents' home, with my feet in a chair, having just eaten New York style pizza, and with no rice in sight. In some sense, this journey has ended. But in some very real sense - and perhaps in a more real sense - a journey has begun.

First, a quick recap of what happened since the last blog post - regardless of the fact that most of the people who will read this have already heard (or were there experiencing it with me). We had two more introduction to Christianity courses. Go taught on Christ's work in redemption, and showed a powerful clip from The Passion of the Christ that many of the unbelieving Thais found hard to even imagine, let alone watch. But the reality of Christ's work became more real to them. The last Thursday that we were there, I taught on the Consummation of the world - the end of all things. We talked about hope, and about the final judgment. Beautifully, it was one of the first times that I've seen the Thais speak somewhat confrontationally, and intentionally disagree with us and with one another. What is so great about that is that it proved these people were thinking, and being forced to consider the alternative to their belief system. Some of them found it hard to believe that there really was a judgment coming, and that God would judge all of humanity. Some were encouraged to know that there was hope beyond this world. And I think that almost everyone there was challenged to consider where their hearts were. Perhaps the greatest part, though, was seeing the Thai Christians stand up and offer explanations for the hope that they have. Man it was great!

Our last weekend involved a trip to Khao Yai - the first national park in Thailand. We took some 45 people or so to the mountains for a retreat, and saw some great relationships started. It was at this point that I think all of the American interns began to see how the Thai Christians at New Ciy Fellowship were taking over the relationships that we were leaving. We heard later from Dave, the team leader, that the Thais told him they have a tangible plan, and real hope, for continuing relationships with these friends that we've come to know and love. In fact, two of the nonchristian girls we came to know have been at sunday morning worship both sundays that we've been gone. It is clear that God was using our feeble service to draw people to Himself.

I now have the opportunity to look back over the last three and a half months to see from a new vantage point what God was doing. I still can't see all of it, but by viewing it as a whole, I'm coming to understand how His Spirit has been intricately weaving a pattern of truth into me. The greatest thing that I step away from Thailand with is having the nations as part of my being. Before leaving for Thailand, I had a heart for missions. But by most accounts, I didn't understand what that meant. I can't quite find the right analogy, but it's almost the difference between looking at a pair of glasses and looking through the glasses; between considering a glass of water and drinking it.

By the end of my time there, I had come to see that beyond all of the loneliness, the pain, the frustrations, the inconsistencies, the failures, there is a real work happening among the nations. Within 5-10 years there will probably be at least 5 church plants with Mission to the World in Thailand. This isn't even including the growth of the faith in so many other ministries in that country and across Asia (not to mention the rest of the world). The hill tribes of the north are receiving the gospel like nobody's business, and I got to see firsthand the life-changing reality of their faith.

But let me put a story to the truths that I saw. When I traveled to the mountains of the north, I fell in love with the Karen people. They are a hill tribe of nearly a million people, who live in tiny villages, largely isolated from the rest of the nation. We drove six hours on treacherous roads with Boonchu - who I like to refer to as the "Archbishop of the Karen people" - to get to his family's village. Sunday night we drove another hour or so, then walked 15 minutes to get to a poor village deep in the jungle. The people I saw there changed my life. As we entered the pastor's house, some 15 local men ended up coming to join us, just to see and meet these foreigners who were coming to preach the Word of God to them. As Phil, Boonchu, and I walked through the town, we were told that an older man by the name of Joe wanted us to come pray for him. Joe had served as a pastor in a village for some 30 years or so before he got sick. He told us of how he's had terrible health for a while now - Boonchu thinks it might be diabetes - and hasn't really been able to leave his house. But by the time we came to the church that night to preach, he had left his home and hobbled right up to the front row to hear the Word of God. It's so rare that they get to hear the truth from someone even as minutely qualified as myself, that they leap at such an opportunity. After the service, Joe came to me and Phil and told us that he was feeling "sabai sabai" - that he was feeling well. Having prayed for him, Joe felt that the Lord had granted him enough strength to come listen to the preaching that night. And that was more important than anything else to him.

Joe, along with the other hundreds of hungry, poor Karen people, showed me the hunger of a people who do not have the rich depths of God's Word, but only because no one has gone to bring it to them. There are still some 30 Karen villages with no gospel presence. And the pastors in the existing villages are undereducated and under-discipled for the work they have. Oh, there is still service to be given around the world.

This time of praying for me specifically is now over, but please consider praying for one or all of the following needs on a regular, maybe weekly basis:
-The Thai Christians of New City Fellowship. Pat, Go, Yu, Ying, Kieow, Pawn, Chai, and Charin are all on staff at New City Fellowship. They have the task of following up after us (especially Yu, Go and Pat), and of continuing to bring the gospel to their own very lost people.
-The Karen people. 30 of the 200+ villages have no gospel presence. Evangelists in every church are being given the task of reaching out to the lost in their own villages as well as the unbelievers who haven't even heard in the other villages. Their pastors need training, and Boonchu needs rest (since he's trying to encourage and train all of the Christians in these 200+ villages).
-The missionaries. Transition continues, and there are very few missionaries with MTW left in Bangkok right now. Dave's role as team leader is changing as the ministry in Thailand continues to blossom, and all of the missionaries - those in Bangkok and those preparing to return - are seeking to understand their place in the mission there. Pray for the Mills family, the Veldhorst family, the Bronsons, Mary, Melanie, and Sarah (an intern who will soon arrive in Thailand).

I now make my way to St. Louis, so that I might be rightly trained for the ministry of the gospel among the nations. Whether that means equipping missionaries or going myself, I don't know. But I go forward with the expectation that God will guide me deeper into His plan for redeeming the entire world.

Soon to Finish

2009-07-21T22:46:00.000-07:00

For the sake of pouring myself into my last bit of time here in Thailand, I am going to post a final set of pictures and words when I return to the states. My first opportunity will probably be August 4th. I will say shortly that I had a life-changing experience with the Karen hill tribe in northern Thailand this weekend. My soul is bursting to share the joy and life that I found in those mountains. Until August...

Week 13: Unique Opportunities

2009-07-14T08:59:00.000-07:00

This time is ending out well. Part of my heart is already coming back to the states, as there are some important decisions for me to make about my immediate future - but it's been neither distracting nor anxiety-driven. Yet, this last week has proven that this time is ending off in a way that feels solid; in contrast to the potential for feeling useless in these last couple weeks, I've felt that time and relationships have been and will be used well.

Let me offer a quick summary of the recent events. Last Thursday night we held our Introduction to Christianity course/get together at our house. Hank, another intern, taught on the Fall of Man. I think that it was simple and well-done. Afterwards there were a handful of significant conversations that I either took part in or overheard. Most importantly for me, I was able to talk to Wit, and hear where his heart is with the faith, considering that he spends so much time around Christians. Friday night we had a party on the roof of the church. This un-utilized space needed only a simple cleaning to be ready for a slide show, games, a barbecue, dancing, and basic hang-out. Five stories up on a fairly cool night made for a wonderful time with UCF (University Christian Fellowship). Sunday night we had to say good-bye to Melanie, who is now back in the states. It made for my nearing good-bye seeming even more real. Then on Monday I woke up at 3:45 to take a bus to Cambodia to renew my visa for another two weeks. While finding out that I probably didn't actually need to go, it was actually a great trip for me personally. I had a free breakfast in a casino in Cambodia, and saw the great disparity in that country between the wealthy casinos and the poor street children who sit in the sun all day, hoping for alms. It was quite an unexpected picture of injustice that I encountered walking across the border to allow myself another two weeks in Thailand. I also sat in on a Greek class at Bangkok Bible Seminary, and had a wonderful conversation with Ajan Natee - the acting pastor of our church who is also a professor at this seminary.

The most poignant picture of where I find my heart right now comes from the experience that I just had less than 3 hours ago. We decided to go downtown tonight, into Patpong. Patpong is one of the three major red light districts in Bangkok. We spent 30-45 minutes prayer-walking through this broken place, having our hearts pierced and our eyes opened. As we walked, we were offered menus of women, menus of sex shows, discounts and deals in brothel-bars. We saw collections of half-dressed women gathered, waiting for men to come to them, that they might be used for the purpose of acquiring their income. We heard stories of young women who come from all across Thailand to take part in one of the most lucrative careers they can find in this country. And throughout, we sought to pray.

Just yesterday I finished Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, and found myself reflecting on where I find myself in life - interestingly enough I think it's similar to where Harry finds himself at the end of that book. I am at the end of an important journey, and in many ways I feel that my youth is irreturnably gone. College - the last bit of adolescence - is past. And I am leaving a place that has opened my eyes to the beginning of the rest of my life. And, like Harry, I find myself thrown irrevocably into the battle with evil in this world. I hope for something greater and better, but I know that ahead of me lies a life of fighting evil and holding forth good. And tonight I saw quite blatantly the evil against which we fight.

Prayer is needed. We saw tonight that nothing but the gracious work of God's Spirit will save all of His creation. Here are the ways in which you can pray this week:
-This Upcoming Weekend. Phil and I are flying north to preach in the mountain tribes via translator. It'll be another eye-opening experience, and one in which we'll get to proclaim the gospel that we love!
-Intro. to Christianity Course. Thursday we continue it, and next Thursday I teach on the consummation of God's work in the world.
-All of our relationships. We now have very little time to solidify these relationships as lasting ones, and to live in love and truth with our Thai friends.

May we never lose sight of eternity. I pray this for you and for myself, that we would live in light of our purpose.

Week 12 Pictures

2009-07-07T21:46:00.001-07:00

Me and Emmy - Tim's daughter - at an overlook at Khao Yai - Thailand's first national park.

The beautiful, scenic overlook at Khao Yai.

The monkey. Just chilling in the road on our way up the mountain. He was easily lured in with a banana.

Another shot of the monkey.

Me with Asa - Tim's son - on my back. This is how I hiked the entire trail up to see the waterfall. It was great.

The natural beauty of Thailand doesn't reach much greater heights than this.

Tookata and Jane folding our grocery bags...

Sarah, Lisa, Kiki, Alissa, and Erin at the German bakery where we had breakfast Tuesday morning in Hua Hin.

Another shot of us all at the bakery.

Week 12: The Beginning of the End

2009-07-07T20:40:00.000-07:00

Firstly, I apologize for this post not coming until Wednesday. Yesterday and the day before I was with the intern team in the beach city of Hua Hin, being refreshed and seeking to collect this experience within myself. It seems that these last two days have proven that the end of this is beginning. Add to that the personal pains and revelations that I've fallen into and we've got one intense week to work through.

Monday morning the team of interns, me, and Tim drove to Hua Hin. This beautiful city served as the setting for two days of joy, peace, fun, and reflection. In some way, I realized emotionally over the course of those two days that this experience is ending. The rest that comes at the end of a long journey - the time in which you finally have opportunity to release your tension and ponder the consequences of what you've just journeyed through - seemed to begin on that trip. I do, however, have two and a half more weeks of service and life here. But, it seems plain that not many more new relationships will legitimately start in these two weeks. If anything, the cookout, the arts festival, and the overnight trip to the mountains will be opportunities to solidify the love for those I've come to know and to sufficiently close out my time with them. I hope to pass on as many of these relationships as possible to the Thai believers and/or the career missionaries. Yet, once again I'm in a position of feeling helpless to accomplish anything of lasting value. There's really so little time, and my emotions are now making their exit from this country.

The beginning of these closing feelings has been compounded by the amount of inner struggle I've found myself in. Interactions with the other interns opened the eyes of my soul to some very significant wounds which have afflicted me and inner lies that I've been believing. It's painful to realize the depths from which my soul needs to be redeemed. But good to be aware of my failures and pains, so that I can see them healed. I'm sorry that this is all so vague; I generally wouldn't write that way! But it seems most appropriate to now.

Then there's these decisions I need to make. Exactly where do I go practically from here? What do I do with the collection of experiences I'm leaving here with? How much time and rest do I really need in order to work through the implications of this experience? I am hoping for wisdom, and trusting in God's complete control regardless of my decision. Yet, confusion and anxiety arise within me too often.

I guess it comes down to this: I trust my God; I know that my life is intimately tied to those who do not have the good news that I believe is only found in Jesus Christ. But I just don't know what enjoying and glorifying God looks like from here - how do I remain faithful to my divinely given desires and gifts, and what needs to happen as the immediate next step? I stood on the fifth floor balcony overlooking the Bay of Thailand on Tuesday night and felt a longing for the land of heaven that I know I'm made for. I longed for that rest and peace, and for my God. But in order to see that glorious sunset and world of clouds and mountains, I had to look over the heads of Thai people, over the tops of a rundown home below me, and over the city of Hua Hin. I know that my foremost purpose now and forevermore is to enjoy and point to the Lord; but part of that purpose is seeking the good and joy of the people and places around me that don't know that joy.

How about a few funny experiences from the past week? While going to the bathroom at the national park I laughed with my friend Hank for about five minutes over a 4-Step instructional card inside the toilet stall on how to use the bathroom - with a girl in a skirt whose eyes were only open for one of the pictures; I came home to two Thai girls alone in our house, folding our plastic grocery bags; I saw one of our friends sitting on our couch singing karaoke to herself into our remote control while watching the TV karaoke (man, they love some karaoke); and I finally saw an elephant - on the road in front of our van on the travel back to Bangkok from Hua Hin.

As has been obvious, the Lord has worked not only in the lives of the Thais around us, but in my very heart. And I continue to believe that He is doing this largely through His people coming in deep concern before Him for that work to happen. Here's how we continue to need prayer:
-My Soul. I continue to work through personal issues and try to decide what steps to take once I return to the states.
-Endurance. I and all the interns need endurance that we can't create on our own to love and serve the Thais and missionaries we're with. It's something I know most of us are finding hard to have.
-Campus Ministry. Friday we have a cookout, which will be our last big campus outreach, and also one of our last opportunties to pass on our relationships to Christians who are here more long-term.
-Those leaving. Melanie, my close missionary friend, who has been here two years, is returning to the states on Sunday. Kiki, one of the intern team leaders, is leaving Thursday (as may be one of the interns Erin). Dave's wife (the team leader), Jan, is going home for a time.

I know only in part what these experiences have meant, but I hope for the Lord to make them all work for good. "But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3.13-14...May we continue to strain forward.

June 30: The Gathering Spirit

2009-07-07T20:39:00.000-07:00

“42And they devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers…44And all who believed were together and had all things in common.” –Acts 2.42, 44
Search the pages of Scripture and see how often you see people standing alone in their faith. Most likely, if you look closely enough, you’ll realize that even those who seemed to be completely alone had a brother or two around them. Are we called to trust Jesus regardless of whether we have anyone to support us? Certainly, yes. However, does God leave any one of us as the only person around to trust in Him? Almost never.
The work of the Holy Spirit at Pentecost first led people to personal hunger for salvation; those individuals trusted in Christ. But the work of the Spirit did not end there. The words directly following verse 41 (“those who received his word were baptized”) tell us that they began taking part in the life of the church. Not only did they believe, but they began sharing life together as believers! The Holy Spirit may begin His work by calling individuals, but His final goal is to collect the entire body of people who will live to glorify God together forever.
1. Why would God want us to live in community rather than by ourselves in our faith?
2. How does the Holy Spirit need to work in your life to build up community with other Christians? Ask God to open your eyes to the answer to this question.

Weeks 10-11 Pictures

2009-06-29T09:02:00.000-07:00

Hank, me, Wit, Erin, and a girl from university.

Joh, Krit, Folk, and Go at the retreat.

Yu and a university student.

The dance class at the beach. We had five workshops during three time periods on Saturday and Sunday. The one in which I was involved was English. The others were Photography, art, and crafts. The last session involved all of us painting a tile that we all put together to make a mural.

Bik (a Christian), another girl, Folk, and three other students in drawing workshop.

Some girl, Blah (Wit's girlfriend), Nat, Krit, a Christian, Jane (the girl who was my buddy for the weekend - we were arbitrarily assigned a "buddy" to converse with via notes and gifts through the weekend), Joe, and another girl.

I'm not sure who this is, but this is the path to the beach.

BEcky and her Thai friend on the beach. Becky and her husband Andrew spent quite a few years in Thailand, Andrew first as a businessman, then both of them as part of the MTW team before going back to the states to go to seminary.

Someone, once again I don't know who it is, at the beach.

Folk, a girl, Fon, another girl, Pat, Go, some guy, and Erin in the tropical area of Thailand.

Fanta (the girl who had my name as a buddy), Sarah, and Beer (my roommate).

Pat, one of my dearest Christian brothers here, leading games at the retreat.

The party bus.

Me, Dan, Hank, Le, and another basketball friend whose name I can't remember (the guy in the white shirt). This is at our barbecue.

Me and Go (along with Pat, probably my closest Christian Thai friend here).

Some farang (white foreigners) and Thais playing pretty much the only game the Thais know how to play with cards - Slave.

Week 11: Prayer Further Fulfilled

2009-06-29T05:16:00.000-07:00

The team of interns is driving out at 8:00 AM tomorrow morning to spend our day off recapping the summer thus far at Kow Yai, translated - "Big Mountain". Hopefully we'll enjoy some beautiful scenery, exotic animals, a cheeseburger or two, and a milkshake or two at a dairy farm among other things. That's just to explain that I won't have an opportunity tomorrow to share about this past week with you - something I'm very anxious to do; so I'm writing now instead.

Last night we returned from our campus retreat at the beach. We stayed in a beautiful house within walking distance to the shoreline, and I basically lived on the roof of this house, from which vantage point I could see both the sea and the mountains. It was amazing! But what was even more amazing was the thoroughly satisfying nature of our time with all of these Thai college students. I think I can legitimately say that every one of our ten interns had at least one interaction which they can point to as significant for the spiritual state of that Thai friend. Going into this weekend, a large part of me fully expected three days of inevitable uselessness at best and constant frustration or death at worst. Instead we found that our God is moving in the souls of Thai people, and that He was willing to grant us sight into that movement and even parts in their process.

Three events pointed me to the reality that I could not draw up times of sharing my heart with any Thais, but that the Lord was uniquely leading us into places where we could help them toward truth. The first came for me on the beach one night as a Thai named Tii was hungrily learning English from me. He asked what I wanted to do with my life. Explaining my desire to be a pastor led into us talking about the differences between Buddhism and Christianity. I found out at the end of the weekend that he had conversed significantly with at least three other Christians about the faith. He told me that it was all very confusing to him, but he kept pursuing answers. The second event came when I felt exhausted on Saturday night. We'd been encouraged to stay up late to talk with people and just pour ourselves out for them. I was seeing very few opportunities to spend time with any Thais, and I was tired, so I went up to the roof and decided to enjoy some time alone on the roof for a little while praying and thinking. My dear friend Wit came out of the shower and decided to come stand by me for a while. We talked about the testimony Erin had given that evening, and about where we wanted our lives to go. It was a sweet moment of sharing friendship and seeing God furthering that relationship. The third was on the bus ride home when the staff handed out packets of Genesis 1-3, John, and some other part of the New Testament. I asked my seat buddy, Folk, to translate Genesis 1.1-10 for me. We struggled through it for about 25 minutes or so (really enjoying it the whole time though). I asked him what he thought about Christianity, and he said that he thought Buddhists and Christians essentially had the same God. He asked if I thought that, and I said I thought that we definitely have different Gods. He was surprised, and said he thought he'd read the rest of that packet to see what the differences might be.

Opportunities like those seemed to crop up incessantly throughout the weekend. And none of them were forced, or involved me pushing myself upon them. I fully saw this weekend how my call is never to force myself upon people. God ordered those situations so that I could share life with those Thai men. I saw Tii's confusion over the reality that not all religions are alike. I felt in Wit a close friend with whom I could share my heart about the reality of life as I've experienced it. I saw in Folk a similar confusion to Tii, as well as a desire to know truth. It is just so beautiful to me to share life with people, and to see the Lord form that living into His good desires.

In addition to these are the many other small blessings I'm surrounded by. We had dozens of guys and girls come to our spur-of-the-moment barbecue. The girl I've been tutoring has finally opened up and has been laughing happily and consistently through our lessons (a very important thing for Thais). And friendships seem more solidified in general than they had before. God has proven that although He is under no obligation to bless our service with fruit, that He is often willing to encourage us by allowing us to see how His kingdom is moving forward.

Ok, so time for a few interesting experiences. Not too many good ones this week. Sorry. I ate squid and pork in an open-air restaurant where I got to sit on the ground with a cussing, somewhat inappropriate Thai friend (quite an interesting guy whose are an anomaly in Thailand). At the retreat I had a Muslim roommate who's name is Beer. I got to play soccer on the beach in the rain with some Thai guys. We also had another dance party on one of those multi-colored buses with spinning ceiling lights.

Lastly, please keep praying. It connects you to us and to the Lord's work across the world, and to this specific people. It also encourages me and is used by the Lord to move His kingdom forth and accomplish His beautifully good purposes in history. Here's how I see that you can pray:
-My Friends. Dii and Fok are definitely at turning points. I continue to have a heart for Wit. Then there are all of my basketball friends and the people that the other interns are meeting.
-Yu and Kieow. Two Thai women on staff; Yu's grandfather died this past week and Kieow's grandmother is in bad shape.
-Our Four-Week Intro. To Christianity Course. Starting this Thursday we'll be leading a four-part study/discussion on Christianity, how it is different from Buddhism, and how it answers humanity's big questions. We need for it to be fun, Christ-centered, and well-adapted to the hearts of those who come. Go - a Thai believer on staff at church who's also a close friend - will lead weeks one and three. Fellow intern Hank will lead the second week. And I'm leading the final week.

Life moves forward, my life continues to have questions, and it is all so good.

June 29: The Simple Pentecost

2009-06-28T23:13:00.000-07:00

“Now when they heard this they were cut to the heart, and said to Peter and the rest of the apostles, ‘Brothers, what shall we do?’” –Acts 2.37
“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.” –Matthew 5.6
Those who were in Jerusalem at Pentecost heard what Peter said about Jesus dying and rising again for the sins of the world. They heard that Jesus was now glorified in heaven, and they saw the results of His Holy Spirit being poured out on those who believed in Him. And their first response was like a little kid who has been playing all day and forgotten that it’s almost dinnertime. When he sees another kid on the playground with some delicious meal, and smells it, he’s hungry. He finds his parents and figures out what he needs to do to get some food.
Oh, that we would be hungry like these people! What would it mean for us if we were to be “cut to the heart”? Because that’s what God’s Word should do. If the Holy Spirit is convicting us, we will see that God’s message cuts us right to the heart and leaves us wide open. Why wouldn’t we be hungry to understand what to do next?
1. Have you ever felt “cut to the heart”? Have you ever been hungry to know and obey God? If so, reflect on that time. If not, ask yourself why you haven’t.
2. Sit and realize that you cannot create that hunger within yourself. Ask God to have His Spirit let you be “cut to the heart” and hunger for Him.

June 28: The Spirit of Hunger

2009-06-25T22:38:00.002-07:00

June 27: The Promised Teacher

2009-06-25T22:38:00.001-07:00

“26But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.” John 14.26
Some people ask, “How do we know that we can trust the words of the Bible?” They wonder, “Are the words of the Bible really the ones that God wanted us to have?” These are very good questions. And here’s an answer: the words of the New Testament came directly in fulfillment of a promise from God!
The events at Pentecost meant that Jesus’ Spirit had come not only to live in all believers, but to specially teach and remind the apostles of the meaning of Jesus’ life and death. Because the Holy Spirit came back to the apostles, we have the words of the New Testament. And it’s through the truth of the apostles’ teaching – the truth of what Christ’s life and death really mean – that we come to trust in Jesus. How good it was of God to provide for His children!
1. How and why did the Spirit come to specially work through the apostles?
2. What does it mean for your faith and Christian life that the Holy Spirit was bringing the real meaning of Jesus life and death to the minds of the writers of the New Testament?

June 26: The Baptism of Fire

2009-06-25T22:36:00.000-07:00

“John answered them all, saying, ‘I baptize you with water, but he who is mightier than I is coming, the strap of whose sandals I am not worthy to untie. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and with fire.’” –Luke 3.16
Fire consumes things. If you happen to drop your favorite book into the fire, it’s gone. The fire which John told the people Jesus was bringing was a fire of judgment that would consume the one whom it baptized. But the tongues of fire at Pentecost – which came with the promised baptism of the Holy Spirit – did not destroy the disciples. Why?
Luke 12.49-50 answers this question: that fiery judgment had already fallen on Jesus. Paul says in Galatians that he died with Christ. Therefore, in Jesus we did receive the baptism of fire – but it could not consume Him. Jesus suffered the judgment on the cross because of the baptism of fire that we deserved so that when Pentecost came the baptism of fire which the disciples received was a fire of grace. It gave to them rather than destroying them.
1. What would it have meant for us if Jesus had taken the baptism of the Holy Spirit only for Himself and left the baptism of fire only for us?
2. How did we receive the baptism of fire and the Holy Spirit in Jesus? And what does it mean for how we should continue to live now? (Read John 15 for direction.)

June 25: No Go-Between

2009-06-24T20:49:00.000-07:00

“31Behold, the days are coming, declares the Lord, when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and the house of Judah…33I will put my law within them, and I will write it on their hearts…34And no longer shall each one teach his neighbor and each his brother, saying ‘Know the Lord,’ for they shall all know me.” –Jeremiah 31.31, 33-34
In the Old Testament (the “old covenant”), people could really only come to God rightly through the priests. They could only know God through the prophets. Some people throughout the history of the church have tried to tell Christians that they have to approach God through priests or pastors. But this is definitely not true!
What Pentecost finally established was the freedom and ability of everyone to personally know God through Jesus! 1 John 2.27-28 says that “you have no need that anyone should teach you. But as His anointing (the Holy Spirit) teaches you about everything…” Certainly teachers are still of great use in the church. But here’s the point: God now teaches us about Himself personally in His Word and in Jesus Christ!
1. How does this change the joy of your responsibility to approach God in prayer and in His Word?
2. Spend some time simply enjoying the Lord’s presence. Maybe you want to thank Him for teaching you about Himself personally.

June 24: Why Pentecost, Part 2

2009-06-23T18:43:00.000-07:00

“16You shall count fifty days to the day after the seventh Sabbath. Then you shall present a grain offering of new grain to the Lord.” –Leviticus 23.16
“41So those who received his word were baptized, and there were added that day about three thousand souls.” –Acts 2.41
At the conclusion of these two intimately connected feasts, God took for Himself the firstfruits of the people’s harvest. The firstfruits were given to represent the fact that the entire harvest would belong to the Lord.
On Pentecost thousands of men and women from all over the world became firstfruits to God. They were the first shafts of grain. Their salvation was Christ marking out that He was beginning the harvest. All who would come to Him through trusting in His death (Passover) and resurrection (the waving of the grain bundle) would most certainly be God’s just as much as the firstfruits were. Brothers and sisters in Christ, we are the remainder of the harvest which Christ is pulling in! And we are taking part right now in the harvest which Christ continues to carry out until all of God’s children are brought to Him.
1. How does the picture of a harvest affect the way in which you view God building His church?
2. How and why should it comfort us that God has set aside His harvest from the beginning (we Christians whom He is saving), and has promised to fully pull in that harvest?

Week 10: Prayer Fulfilled

2009-06-22T22:01:00.002-07:00

I fully believe that those of you reading this blog, as well as many others, have been honestly and consistently praying for this mission. In the last week (even in the last few days) we've seen a beautiful blossom of relationships and movement in our ministries than cannot be explained naturally. It's hard to even tangibly recount what we've seen and experienced, but I feel that it's obvious that the Spirit is in it.

Up until this Saturday I had held a few conversations with a select number of the guys that I daily play basketball with. On Saturday evening, almost every guy on the court decided that me and my fellow intern Phil were great friends, and guys that had never before addressed me decided to struggle through Thai and English to try to have conversation with me. They were opening up to our jokes, playing around with us, talking about getting together outside of basketball, looking forward to the next day of playing, and just generally acting as our friends. Tomorrow (Wednesday) we've now got a grill-out planned for all of our basketball friends. We hope to further establish those relationships and let all of these unbelievers feel comfortable around Christians (hopefully even begin some relationships with Christians who're going to be here longer term).

And then there's our daily times on campus. The girls on the intern team stumbled across an entirely new part of campus where dozens of groups of people just sit in pavilions all day long. They started some great relationships with people from clubs across the campus. Whereas before this last week they experienced mostly frustration in conversation, short times on campus, shallow relationships, and confusion as to their place here, the interns now have one of our girls going out with some Thai friends tonight for a movie, we had a birthday party last night for a Thai girl who'd never really had one before, four Thais stayed until nearly 1:00 AM (and one guy stayed the night with us), one new friend had the gospel shared with her, and we filled every spot for our upcoming campus retreat (and had to turn some people down because of lack of space!).

But I have to add onto all of these obvious works of God the spirit with which God has blessed us. Monday morning we listed to a sermon entitled "Doing Missions When Dying is Gain" by John Piper (look it up at www.desiringgod.org). Maybe it was just me experiencing this renewal, but I think it was all of us. We have been reminded in the last week that our purpose in being here is not relaxation, not frivolity, not passivity. Even though we may still have few opportunities to actually DO, and are still learning to REST in Christ, my spirit has been brought back to the reality that God has blessed us in Christ so "that Your way may be known on earth, your saving power among ALL NATIONS." (Psalm 67.2) I'm not sure how to convey this, but in some way I feel that I've finally come to a point of no return. I don't think that I can ever return to the states and live a life of comfort, focusing my heart and energies on me and/or my family's security without being willingly in sin. I am irrevocably tied to the life and salvation of these Thai people. Maybe I won't ever end up back in Thailand for ministry - I still think that's completely possible - but I cannot escape the knowledge I now have of the work of God's people among nations without a strong gospel presence.

So then. What crazy has happened in the last week? Well, not a whole lot, but here's a quick list: I at a Ngong (a fuzzy strawberryish looking fruit that breaks open so that you have a jelly substance wrapped around a pit). I went to an open air market - this deserves a little more explanation. This market was an enormous collection of tin roofs covering tiny shops for hundreds of yards - maybe even miles. I got lost a number of times amid the knife, trinket, Thai handicraft, silk, clothing, and art shops. This is not to mention the occasional Thai women yelling who knows what, so that people would buy their goods. Imagine a flea market pumped on steroids, dirtied quite a bit, and spiced (sometimes literally) with Thai culture. I also ate seaweed chips.

So, if you're not convinced that prayer is necessary and effective...stop reading these blogs. Just kidding. But it seems so obvious to me that God is using the regular prayers of His people to faithfully carry forth His Word to the nations - and we're getting to see the beginnings and even some of the fruit of that. Here are some specifics you can pray for in the upcoming week:
-The Campus Retreat. We have 45 Thai people (maybe all of whom are unbelievers) along with 17 staff and/or Americans going to the beach for three days to live life together and hopefully experience the gospel. Wit will be here, as well as a few of my other personal friends.
-A woman named Phi Dha. She is the roommate of one of our youngest, most evangelistic believers at the church. She's so close to faith, searching it all out, but feels incapable of understanding and trusting Jesus with all of herself.
-The unity and effectiveness of the intern team. I've been amazed at how God's turned personality differences and awkward moments into growth and joy on this team. Pray that He continues to change us into Christ's image as well as to use us for His glory.
-The Wednesday Cookout. As well as any future events and all of the relationships I have from basketball - I suddenly have a fresh heart of care for those guys.

Another week finished, and we're now within a month and three days of returning. Unbelievable.

P.S. - No Pictures this week, sorry. Next week for sure though.

June 23: Why Pentecost, Part 1

2009-06-22T22:01:00.001-07:00

“4These are the appointed feasts of the Lord, the holy convocations, which you shall proclaim at the time appointed for them. 5In the first month…is the Lord’s Passover.” –Leviticus 23.4-5
In the Old Testament, God commanded two feasts which He intimately tied together. The first was the Feast of Unleavened Bread, which began with the Passover celebration. In case you’re unaware, the Passover looked back to the day when the lambs were slain so that God would pass-over the people of Israel and not kill their firstborn in Egypt. Also in case you didn’t know, this points directly to Jesus, the Passover Lamb who was slain so that God would pass-over those who trust in Christ, not punishing them for their sins.
At the conclusion of the Feast of the Unleavened Bread was the waving of the bundle of wheat before God. Just as this firstfruit was presented to the Lord at the conclusion of Passover, so our savior presented Himself to God in a resurrected body at the conclusion of His suffering and death.
Then we come, fifty days and seven Sabbaths later, to the Feast of Weeks. This feast stood as the conclusion to the time begun with feast of Unleavened Bread. God chose for Christ to pour out His Spirit on this celebration day so that we would see the intimate connection between Christ’s sacrifice and our reception of His Spirit. Christ’s death and our life in the Spirit will forever be intimately connected.
1. Why is it important to always remember Christ’s death and resurrection when considering the gift of the Holy Spirit?
2. Take some time to dwell on what Christ’s death means for our life and faith. Then thank God for that sacrifice.

June 22: The Spirit Resting Upon Us

2009-06-22T22:00:00.003-07:00

“3And divided tongues as of fire appeared to them and rested on each one of them. 4And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit…” –Acts 2.3-4a
We have already come to see that in the Old Testament there was hope that a Messiah would come on whom the Spirit would fully rest. The Spirit fell upon certain men and women at special times, only to leave them once again. True believers in God awaited One who would fully receive the Spirit forever. That One came – Jesus.
But, God was not satisfied to have His Spirit rest only upon His Son, the savior. Instead, it was through Jesus that God caused His Holy Spirit to rest upon all of His people. And here’s what you must realize about God’s Spirit resting upon someone: it cannot happen partially. When the Spirit of God rests upon a person, the fullness of God rests there, too. For all eternity that fullness will not leave the ones who trust in Christ.
1. Give thanks to the Lord for the reality that His fullness rests upon all believers for all eternity.
2. How would your daily life change if you more fully believed that God’s Spirit (in its fullness) dwells within you constantly?

June 21: A Curse Reversal

2009-06-22T22:00:00.001-07:00

”11…we hear them telling in our own tongues the mighty works of God.” –Acts 2.11
Early in the history of mankind, we humans conspired to “make a name for ourselves.” As Adam and Eve had done before, the men and women in Genesis 11 sought to stand independently from God. But God’s curse upon them was to scatter their establishments and dissolve their community bonds. They could no longer communicate in one language, and their unity was broken.
If you’ve never thought that language diversity is affected by God’s curse, try to live in a place where you don’t speak the language and then seek out community and try to share your heart with people. There are few things in this world that are more taxing or frustrating. But God did not leave His people in this state of loss and brokenness. On the day of Pentecost, His community-breaking curse upon mankind was reversed. The deepest and most unifying force in existence – the good news of life in Jesus Christ – was communicated through dozens of language barriers. True community and unity are once again possible through the Spirit of God.
1. How have you been frustrated by language and cultural barriers? On the flip side, how have you seen God’s Spirit unite Christians despite such barriers?
2. If language and culture and human similarities are not the essence of true community and unity, what is? Seek to understand this answer, and seek that essence in your relationships.

June 20: Pentecost Again and Again?

2009-06-22T21:59:00.001-07:00

Many today ask the question of whether the events at Pentecost should happen to every person who comes to believe in Jesus. Shouldn’t every person speak in tongues and experience a “baptism of the spirit” that’s different from our first coming to believe in Jesus?
As we saw before, Pentecost was the fulfillment of prophecy throughout the Bible. Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection were once and for all – he doesn’t need to die and be raised again and again. The same was true of Pentecost, when Jesus – who was exalted in heaven by then – gave His Spirit to the whole church and made this clear by the amazing signs done on Pentecost. There were two parts to the Spirit’s arrival at Pentecost: the special signs of fulfillment and the universal, personal experience of the Spirit. At Pentecost God wanted to show the world that He was giving His Spirit through Jesus to everyone who believes in Him. Now that we know this, the Spirit generally works toward His main goal: making humans into the image of Jesus Christ.
1. What was the main purpose of Pentecost?
2. Why are the exhibitions at Pentecost now unnecessary in the life of the church? And what is the Spirit doing now in the church?

June 19: The Spirit to the Nations, Part 2

2009-06-22T21:57:00.000-07:00

I have been terribly inconsistent in posting the Daily Manna over the last few days. I realize that people can't really be following it with my inconsistency, but I still want them to be here on the blog for anyone that would like to read them.

“7The Lord said to me, ‘You are my Son; today I have begotten you. 8Ask of me, and I will make the nations your heritage, and the ends of the earth your possession.’” –Psalm 2.7b-8
During some unique points in Scripture, we are allowed to look into the divine interactions between the Father and the Son. In Peter’s Pentecost sermon, he says that Jesus, “exalted at the right hand of God, and having received from the Father the promise of the Holy Spirit, he has poured out this that you yourselves are seeing and hearing.” (Acts 2.33) Our God had already planned for Jesus to inherit the nations of the world. Yet, in a surprise move (from a human point of view), Jesus did not inherit the nations to rule over them with an iron fist. No, Jesus took possession of the nations by lovingly providing the Holy Spirit which the Father had given to Him on earth!
In going out to the unbelieving nations of the world, we Christians are bringing them under the kingship of Jesus. And this King Jesus doesn’t force them into submission in His kingdom. This King Jesus provides His Spirit for them so that they can share in the blessings which He has been given in God the Father.
1. How should it change your view of the church’s future and unity to know that Christ is sovereign, completely in control, in His rule over the nations by His Spirit?
2. How do these realities change your view of evangelism and missions? How then ought we to change our actions in evangelism?

June 18: The Spirit to All Nations, Part 1

2009-06-17T18:25:00.001-07:00

“3…in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed.” –Genesis 12.3b
“5Now there were dwelling in Jerusalem Jews, devout men from every nation under heaven.” –Acts 2.5
When God called Abraham to follow Him, and then promised to make a covenant with Abraham, He made it clear from the beginning that this covenant was intended to eventually bless all the nations of the earth. Through the Old Testament the non-Jews were for most part excluded from hearing God’s Word through the prophets and from experiencing the Lord’s blessings. That was all to change at Pentecost.
When the Spirit came upon the believers in Jerusalem, He made no distinction in who he spoke to. “…both Jews and proselytes, Cretans and Arabians – we hear them telling in our own tongues the mighty works of God.” (Acts 1.11) God had finally chosen to begin the complete fulfillment of His promise to Abraham – every nation, people, and language was going to be blessed with His Spirit through Jesus!
1. How have you failed to involve yourself in the Lord’s work of pouring His Spirit out on all nations through the gospel of Jesus?
2. Where have you seen the fulfillment of this promise? How have you seen men and women from all nations experience the Holy Spirit?

June 17: The Fulfillment of the Ages

2009-06-17T18:23:00.001-07:00

“16But this is what was uttered through the prophet Joel…25For David says concerning him…31he foresaw and spoke about the resurrection of the Christ…33Being therefore exalted at the right hand of God…he has poured out this that you yourselves are seeing and hearing.” –Acts 2.16, 25, 31, 33
The significance of the event on the day of Pentecost can hardly be understated. The fulfillment of prophecy and hope from ages past had come to a head when the Holy Spirit fell upon the believers in Jerusalem. From the fall of mankind until Jesus’ birth God had carried history through one age. Jesus’ life, death and resurrection marked the beginning of a new age. The Spirit’s coming at Pentecost then completed Christ’s work in the new age of fulfillment. We now look forward only to the day when Jesus will come back to complete history. Prophecy had pointed to this for centuries.
Have you ever felt alone as a Christian in this period of history? Have you felt disconnected from the men and women of the Old Testament? Have you wondered if there is any significance to your life in terms of the history of the world? There is no need to feel so alone! For when Christ poured out the Holy Spirit on the New Testament disciples, He included all believers in this final age of history. Our lives are part of the fulfillment of all the ages which have gone before.
1. Why is it important to see yourself as part of the entire work of God throughout history?
2. Thank God for his consistent faithfulness, and for bringing the salvation of the world one step closer to completion at Pentecost.

Week 9 Pictures

2009-06-16T05:45:00.000-07:00

A One-Time Student of mine and me at English Camp

My friend/student Kim and me at English Camp.

Most of the High School girls short term team, along with some Thai women English students.

The amazing geographical view in which we had our English camp.

The High School girl team and the Thai women again.

One of the challenge course obstacles - rafting your entire team across the river.

Challenge Course obstacle: Climb over the wall twice.

English camp people (and Dave's son Nick).

Me, Jonathon, and some other members of my team at English camp.

Our team crossing the river.

The red team at English camp.

The blue team at English camp.

Challenge course obstacle: every team but one fell off this cable bridge.

The board/rope bridge. This is the bridge I carried the little boy on our team across. What an experience - he choked me pretty much the entire way and squealed every time we swung to a new board.

Challenge Course Obstacle: swing from tire to tire.

The rise from which we zip-lined.

My friend Phi Hua giving peace signs (I think Melanie's giving a thumbs-up in the background).

Obstacle Course Challenge: hold hands while crossing the river on these bamboo rafts. My teammate Jonathan and I left some room between us and the next couple so that we could run as far as possible before falling - we made it a good 6 rafts or so before busting our faces.

Crossing the river in the raft.

Fellow intern, Phil.

Trey, the intern team leader - I guess he's the most mature? Hank's flying into the picture, too.

June 16: The Spirit of Rest

2009-06-16T05:42:00.000-07:00

“Like livestock that go down into the valley, the Spirit of the Lord gave them rest.” –Isaiah 63.14a
The Spirit of the Lord didn’t only work through men and women in the Old Testament and actively create things. He also led the people of God into rest from their works and troubles. Here in Isaiah 63 the prophet is recounting when Israel left slavery in Egypt and the Spirit of God led them through the wilderness. The Spirit of the Lord finally led them to the rest of Canaan – the country that the Jews finally called home.
Christians are also called to enter into God’s rest (Hebrews 3.7-4.13, especially 4.9-10). The Spirit of the Lord calls for us to consider how wearying it is to continue trying to earn ourselves God’s pleasure. He invites us to see how wearying our troubles and pains and losses and sicknesses are. The Spirit, calls for us to rest in trusting Jesus, and for us to finally hope in resting with Him eternally.
1. Where are you resisting the Spirit’s call to rest in Christ? Where are you trying so hard to work for the kingdom that you are failing to enjoy God by resting in Him?
2. Sit quietly in the Lord’s presence, and open your heart to the rest that is found in His Spirit.

Week 9

2009-06-15T20:29:00.000-07:00

The roller coaster ride which is this missions experience continues to roll onward. Still, after 9 weeks of activity in this place, I find that when I sit down to write this reflection and summary of the week that there have been so many thoughts, interactions, events, and stories that I know I'm going to have to finally just give you a limited picture of what's happening here. Yet, two major events happened this last week that I thoroughly enjoyed, both of which - of course - pushed me into further thought about the calling God is placing upon my life.

The first happened the day that I posted the blog last week. That Tuesday I stayed back from the rest of the group with Hank, one of the other interns. After relaxing for most of the morning, we ran across a really amazing girl named Mary on our bus ride into the city. The summary of this story is that we found out Mary is from France, speaks with a British accent, is an agnostic (but in a unique place of searching in her thoughts on God), and she spent the rest of the day with our team of interns on our day off. A few of us had significant conversations on spirituality, the probability of God's existence and love, psychology, and a slew of other issues. She ended up being tons of fun, and I've heard there's a good chance that she may come and live with us in our Real World Intern house for a week or so.

It was through that day of conversation and interaction with Mary that I got - I think - a small picture of what ministry in postmodern, post-Christian Europe would look like. And I kind of liked it. I can't say that a small experience like that has pushed me to realize that I am fully called to being in a postmodern context ministering to people who believe in no spiritual reality. I do think, however, that that day of interaction with Mary, alongside of the rest of my reflections and experiences here, have pushed me to strongly believe that I would like to experience missions in another context before committing myself to any place or people or ministry in missions. Perhaps my soul and life are better fitted for Europe, or Africa, or Latin America for that matter.

The second event started on Friday and lasted through Sunday. I had the privilege of helping organize and lead the English Retreat this past weekend. We had some 50 or so people from different English classes at our church. And what a great weekend it was (that's where most of my pictures this week are from). We spent three days in a resort which hugged a river-filled valley in the middle of the Thai mountains. Our resort was spectacular, and the people and activities were incredibly fun. Toward the end of that weekend I realized that the entire experience had felt very much like camp. I was in the mountains (my summer last year was spent in the mountains at a camp), there was a team of teenage girls from the states that I often conversed with and sought to minister to, I led games in front of a big group, and we were in a closed community environment with a singularity of purpose. It felt like going home.

Just like the experience with Mary, I don't know what this fully means for my life or calling. But I did realize that there's something in me that understands and loves camp-style ministry. Maybe it's just the fact that I'm really still a kid, or maybe it's the fact that almost a sixth of my life over the last 6 years has been spent in a camp setting. So maybe it means something significant for my life, maybe it just means that the Lord was blessing me with a unique joy this weekend. I'm glad for it either way.

On a quick other note, almost all of the interns - including myself - have been struggling through the worth and direction of their ministry here on campus. We spend some amount of time everyday on campus, and yet we often wonder what our end goals are for being there. It feels often like no long-lasting conversations are even getting off the ground. But, we see that this experience is changing us primarily, and we're learning to humble ourselves before God, ultimately trusting that He will guide it all to its purpose.

And now, of course, a bit of the unique goings-on in the last week. On the ride to English camp I was in a van and somehow we found ourselves watching old concert videos; for nearly an hour and a half we made our way through Faith Hill, Savage Garden, Queen, Elton John, John Denver, Ricky martin, Shania Twain, and hoards of other random artists. Why? Not sure - but it was great. I sat with four other interns late at night, all of us with one earphone from our ipods in, each singing his/her respective song - what a concert of music. I had quiet time nearly 40 feet above a river, looking at mountains all around, I carried an autistic Thai child on my back across a swinging bridge, I got a Thai massage (not foot massage this time), I bought a book for a French girl, and I helped make a Papaya salad birthday cake. Good times, good friends.

Particularly after a conversation with some of the interns last night, I understand how little all of this is about our efforts, and how deeply it is about trusting God in His efforts - which always succeed. As always, this is a plea and exhortation to you to pray for us, and to pray for these unbelieving people. Here's where I see us needing that prayer:
-Me. As I continue to consider my calling, I need the Lord's hand to guide that thought process. Particularly in regards to immediately following this trip, my mind has been heavy with where I am to go.
-The Campus Ministry. We have a coffeehouse this Friday, our intern team is going on a retreat next Tuesday (maybe there won't be a blog post?), and the weekend following this one we have our campus retreat with all of the Thais. The interns also need prayer in their growth and service.
-Mary, our new friend. Particularly if she comes to stay with us, we want good for her, and for God to guide her to Himself in her spiritual journey.
-Along with her, all of our new friends, that we continue to make on campus and elsewhere.

Peace be to the brothers, and love with faith, from God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. Grace be with all who love our Lord Jesus Christ with love incorruptible. (Ephesians 6.23-24)

June 15: The Fearless Spirit

2009-06-15T01:41:00.000-07:00

“4…Work, for I am with you, declares the Lord of hosts. 5...My Spirit remains in your midst. Fear not.” –Haggai 2.4b, 5b
God spoke these words to people who had travelled hundreds of miles back to their home after being in exile for nearly 50 years. Their homes and cities had been destroyed by the same enemies which were still living in the land. For all they knew, those enemies could come and attack them again, take them into exile again, or try to just destroy all of them. In the midst of that, God tells them not to be afraid, because He is keeping His Holy Spirit among them.
What a promise! We, the people of God, have no reason to be afraid since His Spirit is living amongst us. The Spirit of the Lord protects our life. But not only that – the Spirit of the Lord also gives courage to live in the calling which God has given us. We have no reason to fear, since the One who has fulfilled every other promise He’s given to us has promised that His Spirit is with us right now.
1. What do you fear? Do you fear leaving your home, failing in your calling, being persecuted, being rejected, losing your family, or something else?
2. What difference does it make that God doesn’t simply tell us what to do, but promises to remain with us in whatever He calls us to?

June 14: The Spirit of Guidance

2009-06-14T10:21:00.001-07:00

“Teach me to do your will, for you are my God! Let your good Spirit lead me on level ground.” –Psalm 143.10
I found out soon after coming to Thailand that there were two ways to get from my house to the college campus. The one is very long. The other, shorter one, however, involves walking a road with what could either be called potholes or canyons. After walking the road once, jumping from puddle to puddle and dodging cars, nearly twisting my ankle and falling into the flooded road every step of the way, my friend Paul taught me the way around this. By walking on the side of the road furthest from the campus, you can weave in and out of plants and shop fronts quite easily until you get to the campus entrance. He had led me onto level ground.
This is the picture that the Psalmist gives us for the Spirit of the Lord. Besides His mighty, miraculous works which moved history toward Jesus’ coming, even in the Old Testament the Spirit took personal interest in giving wisdom to those who trusted in the Lord. The books of Proverbs, Job, and Ecclesiastes are perfect evidence of this truth. The Spirit of the Lord gives wisdom to His people so that even when they don’t know the safe way past the potholes and canyons, their steps land on level ground.
1. What practical fears do you have that would be stilled by knowing God’s Spirit brings wisdom to those who seek it?
2. How can you move toward seeking the Spirit’s wisdom in all areas of your life?

June 13: The Life-Breathing Spirit, Part 2

2009-06-14T10:20:00.000-07:00

“4Then he said to me, ‘Prophesy over these bones, and say to them, O dry bones, hear the word of the Lord. 5Thus says the Lord God to these bones: Behold, I will cause breath to enter you, and you shall live’…14And I will put my Spirit within you, and you shall live.” –Ezekiel 37.4-5, 14a
Here’s the hope that these bones need! In Ezekiel 37.3 God asks Ezekiel if the bones can live. Ezekiel is unwilling to say that they can’t, because he knows that it is ultimately in the Lord’s hands. His response is, “O, Lord God, you know.”
But, where once there were dry, dead bones, fully living humans arise from the dust. And did you see the means by which these bones came to life? It was not by Ezekiel’s creativity; it was not by intelligent philosophy; it was not by the work of Ezekiel or the bones themselves; it was not by prayer to any special spirit; and it wasn’t even because the bones really wanted to be alive. These bones live because God breathes His Spirit into them as Ezekiel speaks the truth of God’s Word to them.
How do we come alive? By hearing and believing the truth of God in Jesus Christ. Jesus said, “Whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me…has passed from death to life.” (John 5.24-25)
1. How does this change the way you think about doing evangelism? What is it you are looking for and relying on when you desire for a non-Christian to believe in Christ?
2. How does it give you hope and comfort to know that God has breathed His very Spirit into you to make you spiritually alive? Thank God that one day He will resurrect your body by His Spirit as well (1 Corinthians 15).

June 12: The Life-Breathing Spirit, Part 1

2009-06-11T17:33:00.000-07:00

“1The hand of the Lord was upon me, and he brought me out in the Spirit of the Lord and set me down in the middle of the valley, it was full of bones…they were very dry. 3And he said to me, ‘Son of man, can these bones live?’ And I answered, ‘O Lord God, you know.’” –Ezekiel 37.1, 2b-3
I’ve seen many skeletons in my life up to this point. I’ve seen a lizard skeleton treasured by a little girl; I’ve seen the remains of ancient people in museums; I’ve seen animals who’ve been hunted and animals who’ve died naturally; I’ve seen innumerable skeletons in the movies. And here’s the bottom line on skeletons: they’re dead.
The bones that Ezekiel sees here represent the true nature of the people around him. It takes the Spirit of the Lord opening his eyes in order for him to see that the souls of these people are nothing more than dry bones. And, just like the dry bones that I’ve come across, these bones have no life, and as far as we can see they’ve got no prospect of obtaining life. Outside of what comes next – outside of the breath of God – these bones are us. They have no life. Outside of the Spirit of God, we have no life.
1. If you don’t believe in Jesus as Savior, why do you think God would refer to you as dry, lifeless bones? Pray that He’ll open your eyes to the answer to that question.
2. Why do we need God’s Spirit to open our eyes to seeing that we were once lifeless bones and that those outside of Christ are lifeless bones right now?

June 11: Seeing the Christ

2009-06-10T20:32:00.000-07:00

“38And Pharaoh said to his servants, ‘Can we find a man like this, in whom is the Spirit of God?’ 39Then Pharaoh said to Joseph, ‘Since God has shown you all this, there is none so discerning and wise as you are.’” –Genesis 41.38-39
What an interesting statement that a man outside of God’s covenant spoke: “Here we have a man in whom God’s Spirit lives.” What did the Pharaoh see when he looked at Joseph? Wisdom? Yes, but unbeknownst to him, Pharaoh saw something more…He saw the Christ. The life of Joseph was like so many others in the Old Testament; when the Spirit of God dwelt in them, they became figures of the future savior, Jesus. Joseph possessed wisdom beyond any men of his age (remember what Isaiah 11 said about the Christ?). The end result of Joseph’s life: despite rejection, persecution, temptation, and exile the Lord used Joseph’s life and leadership to save God’s people from being lost. Sound familiar? (Hint: Jesus)
Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 3.18 that “we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.” Dear Christians, by the Spirit we also have the privilege to reflect the glory of the Christ! Those in the Old Testament pointed toward His coming, and we point to His presently redeeming life.
1. What other points in Joseph’s life do you see that reflect the life of Christ?
2. In what areas would unbelievers look at your life and be able to recognize the character of Christ (even if they don’t know it’s Christ they’re seeing)? Direct your prayers toward asking God to conform you to the image of Christ by His Spirit, and to open unbelievers eyes to seeing Christ in you, even if they don’t immediately recognize that it’s Christ they’re seeing.

June 10: The Spirit in Jesus

2009-06-09T21:16:00.000-07:00

“1There shall come forth a shoot from the stump of Jesse, and a branch from his roots shall bear fruit. 2And the Spirit of the Lord shall rest upon him, the Spirit of wisdom and understanding, the Spirit of counsel and might, the Spirit of knowledge and the fear of the Lord.” –Isaiah 11.1-2
The Holy Spirit’s primary work came in the person of Jesus. Even in the Old Testament it was already being made known that the Spirit’s main work would be in His work through Jesus. Here in Isaiah it’s revealed that the Spirit of the Lord would rest upon Christ. In a sense, when the Holy Spirit came down throughout the Old Testament – on Joseph, Daniel, Bezalel, Samson, Othniel, David, and others – He eventually ascended again. He completed the special work which He desired to do through those men, and then withdrew that special intimacy. However, Isaiah tells us that the Spirit would rest upon Jesus, never leaving Him, and dwelling fully in Him.
Then, see the beautiful nature which the Spirit would bring upon Christ: wisdom, understanding, counsel, might, knowledge, and fear of the Lord. By the indwelling Spirit, Jesus taught and lived in all wisdom, understanding, and fear of the Lord. What a comforting thought, to know that all of Christ’s teaching came from the wisdom and understanding of the Spirit of the Lord. We can fully rely upon His words and life, because they came straight from the heart of God’s Spirit.
1. Knowing that Jesus’ teaching is full of God’s wisdom and understanding, how should your life be more oriented around the words of Jesus?
2. Since Jesus fully understood the mind of God through the Spirit, what does this mean for how we interpret the Old Testament through His words and life (personally, in our preaching, etc.)?

Week 8 Pictures

2009-06-08T21:01:00.000-07:00

My friends Le and Wit. Amazingly, Le is wearing a Detroit Red Wings shirt. Beautiful. Wit's the guy I went home with a few weeks back. Both great guys.

Sarah (an intern), Blah (Wit's girlfriend), a YWAM guy, Wit, and me.

Me, a new Thai intern at the church, Phi Pha, Dang, and Wit.

Me and Blah - and the usual height difference between me and a Thai person.

My friend, Fon, and I being semi-violent.

The main street of downtown Bangkok - Sukhamvit.

The interns at dinner. You can make out Phil, Hank, Alissa, and Trey.

Catherine's birthday party at a Lebanese restaurant. Pictured from left to right are Bob, me, Clint, man can't remember that girl's name (sure hope she doesn't check the blog), Catherine, Rhianna (Tim's wife), Melanie, and Bob's fiance.

Me and Clint. Clint's sister, Catherine, attends our church and teaches at the local international Christian school. Clint's living here for the year to go to school.

Pat, me, Dan (another intern), and a friend at the soccer match.

Thai Soccer - Bangkok vs. Chon Buri.

Watching soccer the Thai way.

The most amazing child soccer protegy I've seen. He did this same trick later with a water bottle on his head and the ball on top of that. He never dropped the ball once.

Carrying a pillow on my head into the girls' house.

Erin, another intern, carrying a pillow with me.

Lisa, another intern. Not sure when this picture was taken, but I thought I'd post it since she probably just thought it was funny to take pictures with my camera!

Week 8: Activity and Calling

2009-06-08T20:10:00.000-07:00

I have been amazed at the flurry of activity that has surrounded the presence of these interns. Whereas my struggles while they were still in America centered around loneliness and feelings of being out of place, the struggles that are now present center around neglecting reflection and times of quiet. Yet, it's so beautiful how we are able to band together to serve and go to these Thai people.

On Friday we had our first coffeehouse of the summer. The Lord really blessed us by bringing some 70 or more college students, church members, and community residents to the church. We played games, sang songs, drank coffee, ate snacks, and built relationships in a peace-filled atmosphere. Some of my friends from further away in Bangkok showed up, as well as a whole slew of college students that we hadn't built very strong relationships with yet. Exactly what we have praying for with this college ministry began that night - relationships that we hope will lead to saving faith. That night of fun and conversation really characterizes the spirit of our ministry while the interns are here. It's been incredibly beautiful to see how the community of servants living in this house with me has made for renewed passion, greater accountability, loads more fun, and fresh perspective in this place. I even think that their presence has given me greater confidence to reach out to the Thai people, since I now have men and women to fall back on and refuel me.

Part of me has thought, since I've known these interns were coming, that this time isn't a real picture of ministry life overseas. But, I'm beginning to see that that thought isn't completely true. As I talked with Tim yesterday, he helped me realize that the way in which my time here has been ever-changing is an excellent picture of missions life. There doesn't ever seem to be a set pattern or team or ministry for extended periods of time. There is ever change, and ever the need for flexibility. At times there is deep community, at others there seems to be none. At times there is flourishing fruit, at times there is desert dryness. And missions life even changes with the area of the world in which you serve, and the team on which you're serving. The reality of missions life is that there is rarely anything consistent!

That reality has played into my thoughts on my place in missions. I also had a significant conversation with my fellow missionary Melanie. In reflecting on calling, I shared how I've continued to wonder about my lack of feeling absolutely called to this place and people. I've still not felt a deep heart for this culture and people - at least not any more than other lost cultures and people in the world. Melanie shared that she's seen how people tend to be called in one of two ways: either to a place/people or to a ministry. I have struggled with my lack of calling to any particular place, but it gave me great rest to realize that many people sense a deeper calling to a ministry than to a people. I still don't understand where my heart lies in relation to a particular ministry, but having that understanding has brought great peace as I continue to discern the Lord's calling upon me.

So, again I forgot last week, but here are some of my unique experiences from the past few weeks: I went to a Thai soccer match (during which I sat right in the midst of the drinking rowdies, which led to some other interesting events), I saw perhaps the most skilled soccer ball handler I've ever seen (and he was maybe 9 years old), I had a young Thai boy from the slums stroke my goatee through a Bible lesson, I listened to and watched some jazz musicians with the skytrain passing through windows behind us in a beautiful five-star hotel, and I ate chicken blood. If nothing else, I'll have a whole slew of great stories when I get back.

So, our work continues. And as we hope even more deeply for the salvation and growth of these Thai people, we see even more deeply how we can't create those things. I also see how it has to be the Lord who forms the souls and lives of the interns serving alongside of me. This is to say that we need the prayers of God's people to go with us. Please continue to offer us up to the Lord, knowing that He will hear and respond. And here are the needs I see us having:
-My Reflection and Heart. I have been thinking a lot on my future, particwhere to go anularly in relation to seminary, and I feel very uncertain as to how to handle my life after Thailand. I also continue to reflect on the Lord's calling upon me, especially in relation to missions.
-English Camp. This Saturday and Sunday we have an English camp, which I've been helping plan for and will serve in. It's a huge opportunity for us to build relationships and share the gospel with those who come.
-Campus Ministry. We're talking about moving the date of our campus retreat, and we continue to eat lunch twice a week with students, play sports nightly with them, and simply seek to establish relationships with these Thai people. It's through these relationships that we believe the gospel will penetrate their lives.

I have to apologize for being so inconsistent in posting the "Daily Manna" devotions that I had the opportunity to write, but I plan on being more consistent from here on out. Thank you for your heart for me and for this ministry. Onward we roll...

June 9: The Spirit's Purpose in the Old Testament

2009-06-08T19:48:00.001-07:00

“25And he said to them, ‘O foolish ones, and slow of heart to believe all that the prophets have spoken…27And beginning with Moses and all the Prophets, he interpreted to them in all the Scriptures the things concerning himself.” –Luke 24.24,27
Do you wonder what the purpose of the Old Testament is? Do you wonder what it’s pointing to, and what we’re supposed to see in it? We know that the Holy Spirit authored the Old Testament (see June 3 and Acts 28.25), so what does it all come down to that the Spirit wants us to know in it? The answer to those questions is summed up in this one passage: the Spirit is pointing us to Jesus – always.
Every story, every person, every prophecy, every law, every sacrifice, every king, every judgment, every miracle points us to one thing: Jesus. John 15.26 reminds us that the purpose of the Spirit is always to bear witness to Jesus. If ever we read the words of the Holy Spirit in the Old Testament and are not in some way pointed toward Christ our savior, then we have misunderstood the focus of that passage.
1. In what ways do you not believe that the Old Testament is really all about Jesus? Why do you have those thoughts, and what do you then believe the Old Testament is all about?
2. How does this change or challenge the way in which you read the Old Testament?

June 8: The Spirit Poured Out, Part 2

2009-06-08T19:47:00.001-07:00

“15until the Spirit is poured upon us from on high, and the wilderness becomes a fruitful field, and the fruitful field is deemed a forest….17And the effect of righteousness will be peace, and the result of righteousness, quietness and trust forever.” –Isaiah 33.15, 17
What a glorious thing it is when the Spirit is poured out! This is the picture the Bible gives us of the Spirit making people and things new. Where God once promised judgment because of complacency; where there was once barrenness because the people were unwilling and unable to listen to God’s voice; where cities were empty and fields were fruitless; where our souls were cursed to death because we had chosen to follow ourselves, the world, riches, or other gods rather than the true, loving God – in that same place, God’s Holy Spirit is poured out and fruitful peace is established.
This pouring out of the Spirit is why Presbyterians, among others, pour the water of baptism upon a person from above. In the new birth that baptism represents, God recreates our souls and makes them fertile for His fruit. When He pours His Spirit upon us, we are then able to hear God’s voice, and we receive peace from being reconciled to Him.
1. What glorious things have you already seen in your life from God pouring His Spirit on you? What do you still hope to see one day affected by the pouring out of His Spirit?
2. Thank God for choosing to pour out His Spirit upon your life. Without it, you would only know how to think of yourself, and your life would be barren.

June 7: The Spirit Poured Out, Part 1

2009-06-06T18:37:00.000-07:00

“11Tremble, you women who are at ease, shudder you complacent ones…14For the palace is forsaken, the populous city deserted; the hill and the watchtower will become dens forever, a joy of wild donkeys, a pasture of flocks; 15until the Spirit is poured upon us from on high…” –Isaiah 32.11,14-15
Complacency is a scary thing. How many of us would have thought that sitting at home on the couch, eating some potato chips or mango and watching TV was something to be afraid of? Of course, here in Isaiah God refers to something much more serious. He is speaking to men and women who are so caught up in their own pleasure that they are unwilling to listen to His voice.
Many people in Israel at that time had become spiritually fat. Their lives revealed that their care was for themselves above all else. And the Lord warns them what the result of living in that way will be: destruction. The palace (the symbol of all wealth) will be forsaken; the populous city will be emptied; everything will be left barren.
Outside of verse fifteen, we must admit that this is where we all find ourselves. It is absolutely essential that we view our lives honestly – we live for ourselves (or at least we don’t choose to live them for God’s pleasure). But, this is all before verse 15; this is all outside of the influence of the Holy Spirit. For, God promises only judgment and barrenness in our lives and in the world until the Spirit is poured upon us from on high.
1. Why is it necessary for God to promise judgment outside of His Spirit being poured out?
2. Where do you see complacency in your life challenging your willingness to listen to the voice of God, to follow after His heart? Ask God to overcome that complacency in you.

June 6: The Spirit Over History

2009-06-06T18:36:00.000-07:00

“10The Spirit of the Lord came upon him, so that he became Israel's judge and went to war. The Lord gave Cushan-Rishathaim king of Aram into the hands of Othniel, who overpowered him.” –Judges 3.10
How amazing are the very first words of this passage? “The Spirit of the Lord came upon him.” When humanity fell under God’s curse in Genesis 3, all seemed lost. Could humanity ever know God, could we ever experience His Spirit again? God answers this by choosing to send His spirit - the Holy Spirit - into the world to accomplish His purposes!
When the Spirit of God came upon Othniel, God’s people Israel were under the power of the king of Mesopotamia. And yet, God had in His mind the plan to care for His people, and to save the world through them, in Jesus. The Spirit of God often came upon people in the Old Testament (Judges 6.34, 11.29, 14.6, 14.19, 1 Samuel 16.13, 2 Chronicles 7.14). The purpose of the Holy Spirit’s coming down was to accomplish God’s great plan for humanity – complete salvation.
Because, you see, God never leaves His people alone (Deuteronomy 31.6). Every time they encounter trouble, He goes with them, and He rescues them. And our comfort is this: God will send the Holy Spirit to finally accomplish His purpose of overcoming evil and saving every person whom He has called.
1. Why is it so significant that God sent His spirit into the world to complete tasks through people?
2. In what areas of your life do you look forward to God sending the Holy Spirit to overcome evil and save you? Take time to thank God that He has promised to do this, and so that it will happen (Philippians 1.6).

June 5: The Willing Joy of Salvation

2009-06-06T18:33:00.000-07:00

“11Cast me not away from your presence, and take not your Holy Spirit from me. 12Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit.” Psalm 51.11-12
We should never think that the Holy Spirit was not present in the Old Testament, establishing faith and fellowship with the Lord. If we fall into the temptation of thinking that the Holy Spirit was absent in history until Pentecost, then we miss out on the amazing ways in which He was working in the souls of men and women throughout the Old Testament.
As David mourns his sin in Psalm 51, he isn’t just sad that he has done something wrong, but he fears what the absence of God’s Holy Spirit would mean. The absence of the Holy Spirit, as David understands it, would mean losing the joy of salvation. But even beyond that, it would actually mean losing his own willingness to live a life of dependent trust upon the Lord! It’s as though David doesn’t just fear being a dog that is left outside because of his disobedience, but he fears becoming a dog who has forgotten his true home and doesn’t even remember the joy of living with his master. That is what the presence of the Holy Spirit does for us – it brings the joy of God’s salvation, and it produces in us the willing desire to trust the Lord in all of our life.
1. What losses would come upon you if the Holy Spirit were not present in your life, producing the fruits of salvation?
2. How does this mean that we should encourage brothers and sisters in Christ when they are feeling the effects of sin?

June 4: The Beautifying Spirit

2009-06-03T17:33:00.000-07:00

“2See, I have called by name Bezalel the son of Uri, son of Hur, of the tribe of Judah, 3and I have filled him with the Spirit of God, with ability and intelligence, with knowledge, and all craftsmanship.” –Exodus 31.2-3
Throughout the Old Testament the Holy Spirit of God produced abilities in men and women in order that they might carry out specific tasks according to His plan. God has had the plan in His mind from eternity to redeem the world from the corruption that came in through Adam and Eve. The Spirit then gave men and women the abilities necessary to make that redemption happen.
Here in Exodus the Holy Spirit enabled Bezalel and those with him to beautifully form the things which God wanted in Israel. The world was and is dark and hideous without God’s presence. But the Holy Spirit enabled Bezalel to bring God’s beauty into the world by means of the tabernacle and all that went along with it. As theologian Sinclair Ferguson has said about this passage, “A hint was thus given that the work of ‘re-creation’ must begin with the chosen people.”
Throughout history God the Holy Spirit has brought beauty back into the world by recreating that beauty through His people. Every honest day’s work, every act of love, every well-fashioned art piece, every thing that possesses beauty has come from the inspiration of the Holy Spirit.
1. Why was it important – even necessary – for the Holy Spirit to give people these abilities in the Old Testament?
2. Where in your life, and across the world, do you see the Holy Spirit bringing beauty back into the world? And how are you resisting that work of the Spirit?

June 3: Carried Along

2009-06-03T17:28:00.000-07:00

“25They disagreed among themselves and began to leave after Paul had made this final statement: ‘The Holy Spirit spoke the truth to your forefathers when he said through Isaiah the prophet…’” – Acts 28.25
Among the Holy Spirit’s most obvious and important tasks in salvation is His work in producing the scriptures. And the scriptures are necessary for the understanding and faith of God’s people. This New Testament passage in Acts points us to the truth that the Holy Spirit had been at work, speaking God’s Word to the world throughout the Old Testament time. As Peter would later say, “no prophecy was ever produced by the will of man, but men spoke from God as they were carried along by the Holy Spirit.” (2 Peter 1.21)
That “carrying along” includes all of what God spoke in the Old Testament. Every word that we read from Genesis to Malachi is the Holy Spirit speaking through Moses, Samuel, Isaiah, David, and the other prophets, revealing God’s perfect character and His perfect plan to save the world through Jesus. When we look at the Old Testament, we see not only the Holy Spirit acting in those stories, but we actually read the very words that God the Holy Spirit wanted for us to have – that we might see God’s work in history, and know Him through that.
1. Why is it important to know that the Holy Spirit – who is just as much God as God the Father or Jesus – inspired the Old Testament?
2. Since the same Holy Spirit that changes our hearts to trust in Jesus inspired the Old Testament writings, how do you think reading the Bible (including the Old Testament) should affect our lives?

Week 7 Pictures

2009-06-02T09:50:00.001-07:00

Phil, Hank, Alissa, and Trey at the multi-ethnic dinner on our downtown day off.

Blurry lights in downtown Bangkok.

Catch the great English? Not too uncommon...

Classrooms the Thai way.

Sarah doing some great dances with the Thai freshmen. The greatest part about these freshmen is that they have little to no inhibition. They just want to have fun!

Trey - the intern team leader - swapping pics with me.

Wearing the coffee mug.

There's got to be at least one quality self-picture on this trip. So, here's mine.

Our advertisement for the coffee house and for the club.

Signs just don't get any better than this.

Week 7: The Craziness Begins

2009-06-02T09:26:00.000-07:00

Life is no longer the same for me in Bangkok. The arrival of 7 more Americans, who're living in the same house as me, has brought as much if not more change as I expected. Instead of loneliness, there is a constant presence, no matter what the time of day or place I find myself. It's incredible! And what a wonderful group God has brought here. Every one of these people are mature believers who want to serve while they're here. In their midst I've already experienced depth of conversation, roll-on-the-floor laughter, solid teaching, prayer, and simple enjoyment of one another's presence. I've loved watching them fall into the routines of living in this new place, discovering new foods, struggling through the language difficulties, and finding their way through the streets. I've even come to discover that I do know a little bit of Thai (remembering where I was on the first few days - where they are now).

Needless to say, I'm overwhelmed with joy at their presence. The temptations, however, are now new. Instead of the temptation to withdraw and fall into lonely despair, there is the temptation to neglect reflection and prayer. Instead of sadness over lack of interaction, there's the potential for irritations and frustrations within close community. Even with the maturity and love, our group needs the Lord's grace and much prayer.

Yesterday we went out onto the campus for our club's first really big event. It was freshman orientation day. Instead of just signing up for classes and clubs, freshman got to take part in the clubs' dynamics, as well as check out clubs they might not have been aware of. Wearing a giant, home-made coffee mug costume, we handed out fliers for our coffeehouse this Friday. We were blessed with dozens of new relationships and people who decided to join the club. And we played crazy games and danced crazy dances to the excitement of the young students. What a great, tiring day it was! The club (University Christian Fellowship, a.k.a. - UCF) is taking off, and the service of these interns is as well.

This experience is really starting to take greater hold on my heart. The friends I've made and the ministries I've gotten to serve in are holding a much dearer place within me. I still do not know how the Lord has crafted this experience for directing my calling into ministry. Nor do I know how I feel about service here or elsewhere overseas long-term. But I do know that the Father is allowing this time to grab hold of me much more.

I'm sorry this is a quick post. It's very late here, and there's just no time now that I'm living with so many people! But I daily think of how deeply we need God's people to come before Him, trusting that He will use this service for good. I've already heard in the hearts of a number of these interns the frustrations that I've had, and the realizations that this time will be very influential in their own lives, too. Here is what I ask you to pray for:
-The campus ministry (UCF). The interns' presence means, as I've seen, that much more can get done on campus. More relationships are possible and more attention can be drawn to us. Pray that God will lead unbelieving Thais to us and more importantly to the Thai Christians, who can share the gospel more adequately.
-The interns' growth. Pray for their first few weeks of struggle.
-My calling. I still don't know how God is and will use this time in my life.
-The friends I continue to make. Wit and I have spent some more time together, but haven't had much chance to talk. I see opportunities for that to happen in the future. Other friendships are forming and will form as we get deeper into campus ministry.
-English camp. June 13-14 is our English camp, which God graciously provided enough students for to hold it. It's a great time for unbelievers to build relationships with Christians.

As always, you are all close to my heart.

June 2: The Eternal Ordering Spirit

2009-06-02T09:24:00.000-07:00

“1In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. 2The earth was without form and void, and darkness was over the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters.” -Genesis 1.1-2

Christians should never be willing to say that the Holy Spirit only began working at any point in history – not Pentecost, not Jesus’ baptism, not the formation of the church. He has always been at work alongside of God the Father and Jesus. Since the beginning of Creation the Holy Spirit has taken part in God’s good works.
The beautiful part about the Holy Spirit’s work in the very beginning of scripture is that He was instrumental in creating and sustaining life. Genesis says that when God began, “the earth was without form and void.” There was chaos, and there was confusion. But the Spirit of God, the Holy Spirit, went out over the empty waters and from then on God produced order and life (Gen. 1.3-2.3).
God’s Spirit still works like that today! When Adam and Eve rebelled against God, chaos and confusion came back into their hearts and into the world (Rom. 5.12). But because of Jesus, the Holy Spirit brings joy, understanding, and order to people’s lives and to the world.
1. What difference does it make that the Holy Spirit has existed and been working since even before the creation of the world?
2. What evidence do you see in your life, in your community, and in the world that when the Holy Spirit comes He brings order and life?

June 1: The Relational God

2009-06-01T03:23:00.000-07:00

“Let us make man in our image…” –Genesis 1.26
Our God never has been alone. Before creation He did not sit by himself in the universe, incapable of understanding relationship until he had made humanity. No, God has always known perfect unity of relationship within Himself.
Since before the beginning of the world, the Holy Spirit has been lovingly living alongside of God the Father and Jesus. He didn’t just come at Pentecost, and He wasn’t absent from the universe before Jesus came. He has been right in the middle of the dance that God’s been having with Himself for all eternity!
It is this perfect relationship between God the Father, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit – what we call the Trinity – that gives us hope in God’s own love for us! God perfectly understands our desire for relationship, and He perfectly fulfills that desire because He has always lived in relationship.
1. Why is it important to affirm that God has always existed as God the Father, God the Son (Jesus), and Holy Spirit?
2. In terms of our need for relationship, what does it mean that God said humanity is made in “our” (God’s) image?

Daily Manna

2009-05-31T16:40:00.000-07:00

I think I mentioned earlier that I've been blessed with the awesome opportunity to write the daily devotional used at New City Fellowship here in Bangkok. This devotional, known as the "Daily Manna", is written each month by a staff member and translated into Thai (or written originally in Thai depending on who writes it). The church members use this to disciple young believers, present the gospel to unbelievers, and encourage church members. I was asked to write June's studies, and I want to offer these readings to those of you reading the blog as well. The month of June is a collective study on the Holy Spirit in the Old Testament and at Pentecost. My prayer is that the Lord uses it to establish and build up the faith of His church. Each day I'll post the day's devotion, starting with June 1, which I'll post later today. My prayers continue to be with you all, and I covet your prayers for me and this place as well.

Weeks 5-6 Pictures

2009-05-26T07:46:00.001-07:00

Me, Melanie, and Trey in front of Starbucks being goofy missionaries.

The temple shrine right downtown. The overwhelming smell of incense and the dozens of people stopping to offer flower gifts, fruit, prayers, or whatever else as they kneeled before this idol struck me very hard. These people very clearly worship false gods.
A slightly more normal picture in front of Starbucks.

My friends Jin and Kay alongside of me and Thai Ronald. How great of McDonalds to make sure Ronald is "wiing" people instead of waving. Great marketing.
Dha, Yu, Chaen, Fon, and me at the newly discovered ice cream shop. Amazingly, I discovered that this ice cream shop has, get this....an ice cream buffet! Two bucks for as much ice cream as you can eat in a 1/2 hour! I can't wait.
The reason I have a 7-stitch scar on my head.
My eyes reach above that corner. The average Thai can walk right under it.
An average night in our house, with Pat sitting at the table.
My stitched head.

Another view of my stitched head.
All healed, but with a little iodine residue. I'm just glad I don't have strings coming out of my head anymore.

Week 6: Changes

2009-05-26T06:47:00.000-07:00

I can feel the entire face of this experience changing. Thursday of last week the two leaders of a team of 10 Americans arrived. Trey and Kiki are wonderful, and they're looking toward coming here as career missionaries after seminary. This coming Saturday the 8 college-aged interns that will complete that team land in Bangkok. They're not yet here, but it is very obvious that my experience will drastically change when they are, and the work of this team will shift as well. The loneliness that has so pervaded my experience will be dealt a heavy blow by the presence of 8 native English-speakers who are also near the same stage of life as me. My excitement has been rising each day that their arrival has gotten closer. And now that it's almost here, I just can't wait to have them to serve alongside!

But this means that some of my thoughts and struggles will be changing as well. I'll have a different view of ministry overseas with them alongside me. I realize that the general experience of serving on the mission field does not involve me living in a house with 10 other Americans whom I can share my heart with and who will share in the daily life of being a minister in another world. I am also going to have to be very aware of the temptation to neglect relationships with Thai people because of desire to solely encourage and enjoy the Americans. On the positive side, their presence means 10 more people prodding me to deeper ministry and refining my faith. Regardless, I am really hoping for the Lord to continue using this time - as He has been - to open my eyes to the gifts and desires He has placed in my life. I still want to see how I fit into His mission to redeem all nations of the world.

On the note of understanding life in ministry overseas, let me share how the Lord provoked my heart just last night. In case you're unaware, movies tend to powerfully affect me. The right movie at the right time can throw me into emotional and/or mental reflection for long periods of time. On Monday night I watched Black Hawk Down with Phi Kieow and Melanie. The intensity of that movie made me much more sensitive to the war that surrounds me. Thailand is not torn by warlords, military occupation, civil battles, or genocide. But there is a war being waged in the souls of these people that is just as intense as that physical war portrayed in Somalia ("For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places." -Ephesians 6.12). This war is real, and for the most part I have not opened my heart to being aware of it.

On the way back to my house, I found myself alone on our street. It felt right to take my shoes off and begin praying for these people. I prayed for those on the street, for the entire city and nation, for the believers in our church, and for my supporters back in America. As I walked barefoot down the street with my basketball shoes in one hand and Pat's sunglasses in the other, I felt the metaphor of that walk. In one hand I carried the comfort, the burdens, the memories of my American life and culture. In the other I carried my Thai Christian brothers and sisters, their needs, my service to them, their burdens, and their joys. All of this I carried while my bare feet tread these streets and I prayed for the lost - connecting me to this place and this people. This is the life of a missionary. This is the life I am living right now.

At the end of the street (after having walked it a couple times), I found myself praying that if the Lord wanted to call me to this for a lifetime, that I wanted to be willing to follow. I prayed (and have continued praying) that He make me willing to follow His calling into missions if that is His desire for me. I don't know if I'll end up overseas at some point for the rest of my life. I don't know how or where God will call in a year or two or ten. And I certainly am way too unsure of my heart and what missions means to confidently move into it right away. But I felt the reality of this life and sensed the Father's presence with me in this place. I have to now trust that He will provide guidance, that He will faithfully lead my life.

So I've realized some past experiences of this journey that I haven't shared with you yet, that I want to now - and there have been some new ones that I'll share too. What exactly has happened in this crazy land of the Thais? Well, I took nearly 5 minutes to pay for a 15 minute bus ride because I couldn't understand how much it cost; I saw four Americans escorted by four Thai prostitutes out of the airport; I heard that the Thai police actually have criminals re-enact crimes once they're arrested so that they can take pictures of them in the act (pretty self-incriminating if you ask me - the funniest part of this is that Tim had passed a man dressed only in his underwear on the streets, with at least one police officer with a camera - I guess they got him on indecent exposure); I ate sticky rice, mango, and ice cream (a heavenly combination); and I swam in a sweaty pool on the open third floor in a housing complex, after which I dipped in a chilly tub, then a hot tub, and then sat in a sauna which I soon felt pretty confident is what Hell would be like.

As you can easily read into this post, I am in need of much from God's hand, particularly in the way of understanding and guidance. And as I continue serving these people, I see the need they have of comfort, rest, freedom from fear, maturity, and so much else that can only come from the Lord. And I fully believe that God brings this largely through the prayers of His people. So, I am blatantly asking for prayer for myself a whole lot this week, as I continue in this struggle of understanding my calling. But here is what I see us needing prayer in:
-Me and my calling. I've explained this pretty far already.
-The team of interns. They'll be in pre-field training all through this week and arriving on Saturday (culture shock, the heat, jet lag will all be factors immediately).
-The campus ministry. With the interns' arrival we will be able to involve ourselves in a lot more relationships and activities. This coming Monday we have "initiation" on campus where those who signed up for University Christian Fellowship (UCF) will join the club - it'll be a great time to start lots of those relationships (with many who are not Christians).

I hope to hear that the Lord is bringing grace and rest to your hearts as well. Thank you for the love I continually receive from you. My heart is still very much with you all.

Week 5: Complications Inside and Outside My Head

2009-05-18T19:04:00.000-07:00

You would think that a week in which I had to get 7 stitches in my forehead would be an eventful week, right? Surprisingly enough the last 5 or 6 days have probably been the least abnormal since I've been here. I have gone through a lot of inner struggle of thought, and I've seen even further the purpose and direction of the ministries in this church. But maybe it's been the 5 straight days of torrential rain that have kept the regular abnormalities at bay.

I suppose I should first tell the story of the gash in my head - unfortunately it's not a very exciting one. As my missionary friends have said to me, it's just too bad I can't go home and say I got that scar from an elephant tusk or saving a Thai girl from being hit by a motorcycle! Unfortunately, I have seven stitches in my head right now mostly because I'm too tall for Thailand. During one of our torrential downpours I was walking back to the church from lunch and was wearing my nice, new rain jacket. With my hood up I don't have much peripheral vision, and I basically walked right into an air conditioning unit! I didn't think anything was wrong at first, until I decided to rub the spot where I had hit my head and pulled my hand away to find quite a bit of blood on it. A member of our Thai staff, Phi Chai, took me by taxi to the hospital and for about $110 I was able to get a Tetanus, the follow-up medicine, and the nurse and surgeon care necessary for the stitches. Also unfortunately, there wasn't even anything very unique about Thai hospitals. Great service, normal amenities, and the same hospital smell. Maybe the only unique thing was the cart of unlabeled drinks that were set out for anyone to take. Overall, not too bad I guess.

Thankfully colliding with an AC unit didn't mess with the inside of my head - as far as I can tell. But it has left my mind free to think and struggle through a lot concerning the call of God upon my life. As I continue serving here, I continue to feel much confusion over my place in missions. I've felt for years now that my life ought to be given somewhere among the unbelieving nations of the world, where there is little to no Christian witness. But, being here makes the reality of cross-cultural ministry much stronger, and I am struggling through where the Lord's call upon me is. I have wondered if the gifts God has given me are most wisely used cross-culturally. Not to mention I wonder what my gifts even are! I know that I love to teach the Bible, I love to preach God's Word, and to encourage Christians to gain a deeper understanding of truth. But am I called and equipped to do that in another language, another culture? Then I wonder if my heart really is to be in a place like Thailand. I wonder if I ought to go elsewhere and see if my heart lies there, instead. But I wonder if those desires are even important in considering where there is need and where God is calling me to (my inclination is to say that the desires God gives us are good and often are indicative of where He's calling us). At the end of the day (actually, it usually happens at the beginning for me) I am comforted by this truth: God knows. He will guide me as He desires, and I can rest in that, waiting on Him.

Last night I taught an adult English class, and got to see one of the essential ministries at New Community Fellowship. I had the class read a children's version of the story of the Prodigal Son. Lots of good words and concepts to discuss in English, and I think they learned quite a bit from that. Then I asked them what they thought of it. It was at this point that I saw the wisdom in what the church has recently been doing: there are enough Thai Christians in the church that want to learn English that they've tried to have at least one Christian in each English class. Then, when discussions arise, there is the opportunity for those believers to share their faith and their hearts with the others in the class. It was beautiful to see these four people interacting and sharing life together. Through these English classes, and things like the camp that we're having next month, our church members are able to build relationships with these people, love them, encourage them, and simply live life with them. At unique times like last night, we may even get to speak the truth of Jesus Christ to them.

I realized that last week I totally forgot the portion of the blog that tells you about the new things I've experienced. I'm so sorry, because I know that's what most people really read this for anyway! :) So, in the last two weeks, I ate a literal ice cream sandwich (ice cream scooped into a bun - really a great idea), drank cantaloupe flavored milk, ate fried bread filled with coconut, accidentally bought and tried to use lotion as body wash since I couldn't read the label, ate an entire shrimp since they don't peel the tails for you, witnessed a monk receiving alms from two families, tried the delicious "queen of the fruits" known as mangosteen, ate butterfish, showered next to open fish containers (really there was just a wall about waist-high extended into the bathroom that had water and fish in it) and brushed my teeth with that water, and ran and came in second in a 3K race that I bought shoes and registered for less than two hours before the race.

So, I continue to see my lack of use and many shortcomings. But in those same places I just realize how essential God's work is; I have no way of employing evanglism methods, church-growing techniques, personality strengths, etc. It's just God's Spirit moving if anything of worth happens. I hope that in seeing all that's going on, the Lord continues to bring believers to realizing the importance of their hearts in prayer before Him. Here are things that I'm aware of us needing prayer in:
-My Growth. As you've seen, I am very confused about what this experience means in my calling. I'm also still discovering how to serve this church and people most faithfully.
-English Camp/Classes. July 13-14 we have English camp for any students or people interested in English. The camps are usually some of the most effective times to build relationships amongst the English students. As I mentioned, I see how important these classes are, and there are many throughout the week offered by our church.
-Campus Ministries. School is in the process of starting now, and we have our first UCF club meeting this Sunday. Pray also that we would have unity with the other campus ministry, Youth With A Mission (YWAM).
-The Church Body. One of our members' father died this week, and it has caused grief and bitterness in that family. That Christian needs grace to live faithfully and know God's hope. Our staff needs grace to love that family deeply. Also, as school starts back up, more people will be coming to church - most likely - and we continue to desire growth in numbers and maturity.

Thank you for praying, and for caring for me. While I am glad for this experience, and believe that God is teaching me in many ways, my heart often returns to the States and my family in Christ there. May the Lord continue keeping us in His rest.

Week 4 Pictures

2009-05-13T05:13:00.000-07:00

Our amazing beach resort building for the campus leadership retreat.

Tim and the view from our balcony on the campus retreat to the beach.

Inside the resort room on the retreat.

Me, Pat, Go, and Ying in the amazing van we took to the resort. It had a TV, amazing leather seats, and there were just five of us with room for about 10. Lots of good Harry Potter reading while the Thais watching Miami Vice.

This, my friends, is a rotee. Delicious..."aroy"

A peacock spitting his game.

Me next to a peacock who's opened his tail feathers. According to Wit, this is the largest bird farm in all of Asia. The funny thing was that for the first hour I didn't see a single bird! I thought we'd come to a giant bird farm to see an aquariam and statues. Then we came to the giant peacock enclosure, the ostriches, the emu, the parrots, etc.

An emu at the giant bird farm.

One of the many ostriches at the bird farm.

Inside the tunnel of the aquarium at the bird farm.

These ferries you just drive right onto and they start going - no parking the car and then getting out or anything, just drive the car on and start going - once you get to the other side you just keep driving as though nothing happened.

So, I know I've already posted a video with some crazy fish, but there were more! This other temple I went to with Wit's family had these fish too. There's something about these Thai people and keeping whacko fish.

The dozens of cross-legged buddha images lining one newer temple complex.

The inside of this temple complex is gorgeous. Ironically, Wit meant to tell me that the temple was not "finished", but in his still growing English, he said it's not "perfect". What a telling slip. :)

The stairs to the temple on top of the mountain near Wit's house. This is a good point in the blog to reflect on how much it has affected me to see the mountains (which I'm normally overwhelmed with love over) topped with temples everywhere. It has really marred my view of the beauty of God's creation to see man's mistaken idols perched right in the middle of everything here.

Wit's cousin, his sister Si, me, and his dad Phi ("Pee", just a common term of respect for someone older than you) Dhi at the temple.

Me and Wit on top of the mountain where we saw one of his town's most interesting temples.
(I hope to post some of Wit's family's pictures soon, too)

I don't think there was any religious significance to me doing this: this bell hangs at the temple complex and people get to ring it with this giant mallet.

The people believe that it brings you good luck to throw coins into the belly button of this big monk. I'm amazed still at how superstition and spiritism have made their way into the Buddhism of this society.

Me enjoying a nice armchair massage right in the middle of the mall.

Melanie and Fon following suit. Soon after this picture, Fon got up and left. I think while Melanie and I were perfectly ok with soaking up this relaxation without paying a dime, she felt a little uncomfortable sitting in the middle of an open, 5 story mall in some massage chairs.

Week 4 Further Insight

2009-05-13T04:21:00.000-07:00

I feel myself coming into an interesting stage of being here now. I'm past the initial overwhelming pain and loss of being in a new culture alone. I'm therefore a little more familiar with my surroundings and the Thai people. So, there's this growing sense of wanting to be of use and to further my understanding of missions. And yet, the fact that I am very alone here, and that I still don't know the language (and won't to any real extent before I'm gone), and that the worth of my service isn't extremely apparent are still very present - and it's taxing. In addition to all that is the reality that a group of ten interns are coming from the U.S. in a couple weeks, which will place me smack dab in the middle of a community of Americans and will change my entire experience here. It leaves my emotions all confused about how to handle themselves.

So, I've been part of three pretty big events in the last week. The first was the initial day of promoting our club (University Christian Fellowship) on the college campus. Wow, what an awareness of uselessness. I made conversation with basically no new college students and for the most part I messed with my Rubik's cube, juggled, played the djimbe, and did whatever else I thought might draw attention to us so that the Thai Christians could just make conversation with new people and help them out with registration.

The second was this last weekend - my new friend Wit asked me to come to his hometown with him for a few days. I stayed with his family in their house/workshop Friday through Sunday. Lots of awesome stuff to mention here, but most of it will come out in pictures that I will post soon after I post this.

The third thing is what I just returned from - the planning retreat for the campus ministry staff. I've already said it once, but the beach resort we stayed at was absolutely beautiful! We got to live together in community, cook all our own meals (which I didn't really take part in - I don't exactly know how to go about cooking the Thai curries and soups that they make), swim in a pool, play soccer on the beach of the Bay of Thailand, and worship together in between our planning sessions. It was really a refreshing time with those people.

I also feel like I'm starting to get a better sense of who the Thai people are, and I'm beginning to see how their religion and philosophy permeates their lives. Buddhism is very much a religion of gentleness and "peace"; it's also one in which you can gain merit for good deeds done. The basic goal of Buddhism, though, is to free yourself from attachments of any kind. This means that as so many people have noted before, the Thai people are very gentle and hospitable and extremely kind to just about everyone. But I keep seeing all over the place how so many of them don't really seem to deeply love much of anything! The do a pretty darn good job of breaking their hearts from being attached to their surroundings. Many people - like Wit's family - probably wouldn't even consider themselves deeply religious, but the worldview has seeped into their lives regardless. Certainly they value things - particularly family. Yet, as one of the former interns has noted, the common Thai phrase "mai ben rai" really sums up this society's general attitude: "whatever", "it doesn't matter", "don't worry about it".

I've heard more and more from people who've told me that God has really connected their hearts to the work going on here, and what God's doing in and around me. The encouragement so many have given has spoken volumes to me; the Lord has undeniably brought comfort to my soul through the body of Christ. I dearly hope that as this time continues, your hearts will remain connected to the need here and to Christ's will to build His church - particularly through prayer.

The needs:
-My Soul. As I've told you more about what I feel and see in these people, you can understand that even as I have a growing heart to love and speak truth to them, I have also begun struggling more with little frustrations and/or annoyances with their way of thinking and living. Thankfully God has kept my spirit settled until now, but please pray He'll continue to do so. Also, the loneliness, feelings of being out-of-place, and feelings of uselessness remain.
-Wit. I can't foresee the future, but I can guess I will have an increasingly significant relationship with this really cool guy. He's not a believer, but very involved with the 20-something crowd at our church (particularly with interns who've come through).
-The Interns coming from the U.S. They'll have a bit of a different experience from me, but they'll have some of the same struggles dealing with their place in missions and being in a foreign place as I've had.
-The Campus Team. We're really starting up for the year now, and with the club getting going there are going to be more responsibilities and opportunities for us to share our faith (especially the Thai believers). In particular, the four Thai staff are seeking to mentor/disciple at least one unbeliever each in the course of the next school year.

As always, my heart is very much with you all even as it's here serving in this difficult place. We'll see what another week brings...

Week 4 is Coming

2009-05-12T04:22:00.000-07:00

I am just writing this quick note to let those of you who read this know that I'm on a retreat with the campus ministry staff from our church (at an absolutely beautiful beach with mountains rising straight from the water in the distance...suffering in paradise for a few days). Please pray for our wisdom as we finish up tomorrow. I hope to get to posting about the last week Wednesday night or Thursday. My heart continues to long for your prayers...

Week 3 Pictures

2009-05-04T21:06:00.000-07:00

The River Market in the Ancient City

Me playing a giant drum in the Ancient City.

Me playing that giant drum again. My skills are so quick you can't even keep the camera on me.

Mac and Me on a man-made mountain in the Ancient City

Mac and Me again - this time I've got my eyes closed.

Two paintings I stumbled across in an art display in the ancient city.

Another painting in the Ancient City.

Mac, Pa, and me sitting in some interesting traditional instruments in the "Ancient City". The Ancient City is this place they've set up in Bangkok shaped like Thailand that has dozens of ancient sites - either taken from the original site and brought there or recreated as authentically as possible. We spent the whole day there and saw some really awesome stuff.

Go, Pat, and Tim. Go and Pat are my roommates, Tim is the intern coordinator (Among other jobs). Great guys - this is in the office.

These crazy fish went wild when we fed them at the river market in the Ancient City. I don't think the video will even do them justice.

Week 3: Surprises and Settledness

2009-05-04T19:38:00.000-07:00

Every single time I've gotten on my computer to try to express what has happened and where my heart is, I'm at a complete loss as to where to start! I feel like one week in my life here holds the weight and experiences of a month or more in the states. In the last seven days, the Lord has brought very good surprises, the realization of long-term struggles, and some much-welcomed peace and comfort.

Saturday evening I was talking with my missionary friend Tim about the loneliness that I continue to feel here. I think his response is the most telling and accurate way to explain this experience to you. He told me, after having been on the field for four years now, that the loneliness is something that's just always with you. I'm in a place where everything is unfamiliar - people, places, foods, customs, merchandise, government, language, etc. And I constantly feel out-of-place. Some of my closest Thai friends - those Christians who work at the church with me - played cards with me Sunday afternoon. But some of them don't know English, and the others feel more comfortable speaking Thai. So, even though I was enjoying a game of cards with my brothers and sisters in Christ, I was still an American looking in from the outside, wondering what exactly was going on.

Yet, there have been some beautiful surprises in the last week, too. Wednesday night I came home to my roommate, Pat, already asleep. He woke up to a phone call about an hour later, as I was going to bed, and despite the fact that we struggle through every conversation with his limited English, we stayed up nearly an hour talking about the deep pain that he feels so often, and I got to pray for him. He needs the prayer of God's people as much if not more than I do. The loneliness, confusion, and feelings of ineffectiveness that I struggle with, he feels too. But, at the end of the conversation, the greatest encouragement was that over it all he knows that before he met Jesus, he had no hope and no joy. Yet, now that he trusts Christ for everything, he knows he has a hope for the future, and he has joy in knowing Christ.

Instead of telling all of the stories from this past week, I think recounting Monday night will give a good picture of where I now find myself. After taking an afternoon nap, I groggily wake up to go play basketball with the guys at the college. When I get there, my new friend Wit calls my name out from the gym, and I go and sit with him between his badminton games. We have a good conversation, I meet a man named Sooy and his son Ki-o, and Wit and I plan to have dinner and maybe see Star Trek on Thursday.

From there I leave the gym and go outside to play basketball. I'm the only farang (a.k.a. - white American) playing most days, which means I'm the only one not speaking Thai as well. My team and I lose all four games we play (despite the fact that I'm the tallest person on the court). At one point - I think - one of my teammates defends my right to play over another guy who just got there (but who knows, maybe they were joking about how they just wanted a tall white guy on the court!). For the most part I don't share conversation with anyone, since I can't get past "how are you" and their names. But just before my last game, I meet a guy named Nat (a.k.a. - "Hon"). He explains that he doesn't know much English, doesn't have time to take classes, but really wants to learn. So, he figures the best way to do that is to share conversation with an American.

We decide to have dinner at the market, and I end up forcing him to let me pay "this one time" (there's my financial support doing one thing it was set aside to do). We struggle through awkward conversation in English as he tries to teach me some Thai as well. We talk about where we live, what he does for work, what he likes to eat, how I know Paul (our mutual friend who just came back to the U.S.), and movies among other things. Since Tuesday is a holiday, he'll be playing basketball twice, and he's not really interested in seeing a movie with me and my friends. We leave with the Thai "wi" and American handshake - a funny picture of two worlds colliding here.

As I walk away - in the wrong direction at first - I am struck with a mix of emotions and thoughts. I realize that I've finally made a Thai friend outside of the church, and hope that God uses whatever time we have together this summer to open his heart to faith. Yet, I also realize just how hard the hearts of these people are to the gospel - their contentedness in their easy-going lives is hard to break into with any alternative. Nat exemplifies a Thai person who is so gentle and welcoming, but who makes it obvious from the get-go that he's not going to readily open up his heart to me. Then, I personally see that even though I have just made a new friend, and am coming off a couple of really fun, comforting days, I am still an American living in a Thai world. I'm still an outsider in so many ways. But, while I'm walking home, I can't forget the reality that I'm doing exactly what God has set out for me to do. With all my inadequacies and inabilities, I'm simply serving here, and God will finish just what He wants to in spite of (or because of) everything I can't do.

So, then, maybe you've just been waiting to hear about the newest cultural experiences that I've had!? Well, I have discovered one thing that is very bad for my health: rotee. This delicious concoction of fried bread dough, scrambled/fried egg, sugar, an optional fruit, and condensed milk has taken hold of my heart (in literal ways probably too)! Since discovering them last week I think I've eaten five. I also went to the ancient city (more on that in the picture post). I tried pumpkin curry, ate McDonald's via delivery boy, saw multiple water buffalo, and watched and tried to play ta-kraw (this crazy game with a bamboo ball that's basically volleyball with your feet - check this out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LXmjOMUdsPY). I've yet to drink soda from a bag, but I want to.

This post has already been extremely long, but I want to give you a clear picture of where we need prayer. As the inadequacies continue to be realized, I see how the growth of God's kingdom so deeply involves the prayers of His people:
-The Thai Christians and Career Missionaries. The Thai Christians, especially are the ones who really have the platform and cultural understanding to share their faith. They also have the long-term work in mind. The career missionaries particularly deal with loneliness and frustrations of ineffectiveness, as well.
-The ministries at New Community Church. In the next couple months we have three camps (and camps are almost always important in building community and sharing the gospel with people who would otherwise not hear). 1) I was introduced to the mercy ministry in Mahad Thai (the local slum) this week. My eyes were opened to the deep needs of those people, and the cycle of poverty they're stuck in. Yet, the mercy ministry is blossoming unlike any of the others, and children are coming into the church in beautiful ways through that ministry. 2) The campus ministry really takes off this week, and tomorrow we have the freshman orientation day where our newly formed University Christian Fellowship club will have a booth. 3) English classes continue to bring people to the church who otherwise wouldn't be there. We have a camp next month that a lot of planning is going into.
-Wit and Nat - my two Thai friends who are unbelievers, and whom I dearly hope the Lord brings to faith in Christ.
-My service. I forgot to tell you last week that I have the opportunity to write the daily devotion (the "Daily Manna") for the church for the month of June. I will post those devotionals daily during June here on the blog, too. Also, I continue to hope that God will use my service in teaching English, hanging out with college people, and doing whatever else for His glory (despite my lack of obvious use).

Already I've written too much. May God make this scripture come to pass for you all as well as for the Thai people: "I will give them one heart and one way, that they may fear me forever, for their own good and the good of their children after them...I will rejoice in doing them good." -Jeremiah 32.39, 41

Week 2 Pictures

2009-04-29T08:04:00.000-07:00

Yu and Pa in the river at the dam on the retreat.

Pat (my awesome roommate on the Bass), Mot, and a couple girls leading a fun song.

The mountains of Thailand.

Me, Fon, a woman whose name I can't remember, Yu, and Melanie as we're leaving the church camp.

Me and Thai people in the river.

Max, Me, Max, and some of the women from the church camp.

Me and my roommate for the weekend, Max, sharing a tube ride down the river with the dam.

Again, me and my roommate (for the weekend) Max enjoying the breeze out the window of the bus. I tell you, any moving air is welcome in the Thai heat.

Max, one of the older church members, who works as an engineer in Bangkok. I think we hope to see him and his wife take ever increasing roles in leading the church as laity.

Max by the river. He's a college student at Ram 2, where we do our campus ministry. He's also part of the church community and a believer.

I spotted this horse as I walked out of room at the church camp one morning. Just a plain old horse wandering through a soccer field - nothing strange about that in Thailand.

My friend Fon, leaning out the window of the bus on the church camp retreat. The Thai people love to do crazy stuff with their fingers in pictures...look for it often.

The dam we swam by. I thought I'd put these pictures side-by-side to let you see a little bit of how big it was. And I was told that it was fairly small compared to some in Thailand.

Daang's fingers out the window of the bus.

Yu, Fon, We, and other women from the church camp.

The camp resort in which we stayed. Beautiful place, eh?

Me by the river with a friend from the church camp - she's wanting to learn English with the church and not a believer - one of the best opportunities for the people in the church to share the gospel with a person.

Me loving life out the window of our bus.

Black squirrel with white tail.

Week 2: Humility, Struggle, and Peace

2009-04-28T04:33:00.000-07:00

This second week really painfully hammered humility into me - but it also brought a lot of peace. I continue to struggle in very real ways with thoughts toward inadequacy and fear. It's just amazing how real these pains are! But, I received some great teaching and had some wonderful conversations that eased my soul in unexpected and incredible ways.

The church took a retreat this last weekend to a resort-style place up in the mountains about two hours from the Ram 2 area (where we live and where the church is). The peace alone of driving into the mountains is hard to express. As we drove up I remembered last summer at Ridge Haven (the camp I worked at in the NC mountains), and yearned for that fellowship and peace again. I listened to some of the hymns we sang from last summer on my mp3 player and felt some of the deepest longing to be in a place on earth that I've ever felt in my life. That really points you to how real my feelings of being alone still are.

But, that weekend in the mountains proved to be the climax of the last thirteen days, and probably the most important thing so far in directing me to how to view this summer. First, a man named Natee - the man whose little girl is going through the medical problems that I wrote about earlier in March - brought solid and beautiful teaching on how we understand where God is calling us to. As I sat next to Dave - the team leader, who very much took me under his wing that weekend - and heard the translation of Natee's teaching, I began realizing in small ways how God is using this summer. Through a conversation with Dave and one with Natee, I've realized how directed this summer is toward my heart and growth. As Dave said in an interview about short term teams (which translates to interns in some ways, too), "I guess first then we would take them because of what we believe God wants to do in their hearts while they are here. Secondarily we take them because of the assistance they can bring in helping us accomplish our church planting goals." In his teaching, Natee opened up to us the truth that God maily uses three things to guide us into our calling: our spiritual gifts, our ministry passions, and the need that we see. I fully believe that this summer is beginning a time for me to really hone in on where I'm gifted and where my heart of hearts for ministry lies.

So, I am daily struggling with the fact that I just can't build the kind of relationships I want to with these Thai people. I want to be able to share my heart with them - and I just can't! I am so thankful that me and my roommate Pat have begun sharing a much stronger relationship. (In fact, I think that a large part of my ministry will be encouraging him.) But even in that I've realized that language allows for understanding in a way that nothing else does, and so there is and will be some disconnect since we just can't communicate fully. Then there's how I now fear that I won't walk away from this summer with the kind of perspective and understanding that I should. Yet, I have so much less burden to somehow be superhuman. God will do in me exactly as He wants, and at the end of the summer, I think it will be good. Besides that, I'll do ministry as creatively as possible, and I'll seek to love these people I'm with, but it's ultimately up to the Lord as to how things turn out. What a comforting thought. As Natee told me, we often just don't live out what we believe in all areas of our life...But God is in control.

So, maybe you're wondering what I can add to my list of new things I've done/seen in this wacky world of Thailand? Here's what I've got so far: I learned to play "slave" (a card game), I ate dragonfruit, I took part in a bus "dance party" (let me tell you, the buses here are crazy; they're all rainbow colored and have spotlights, disco lights, and heavy-duty speakers inside), I used an open-air urinal with cars driving by not too far away, I rode a tube with a Thai guy down a river next to a dam, and burned my mouth pretty much daily with the staple Thai spices. Guess I'll just keep the new experiences rolling.

Again, I want you to know how to specifically be praying for me, this church, and these people. And each week I see even further how deeply I need prayer; I'm just so incapable, and the people at this church cannot acccomplish anything worthwhile - we struggle and fear, and we need God to work (which He does largely through His people's involvement in prayer).
-My growth and heart. Seeing how I hope for the Lord to begin giving me understanding to my passion in ministry and view of missions, I need His hand to guide me there. Also, I continue to feel alone - especially in the mornings - and to see my inadequacy.
-New City Fellowship. This church lacks mature believers to lead it, and we are hoping to see the Christians within the church begin to take hold of the ministries of the church.
-The MTW team and the church staff. There is so much transition, constantly, and especially this summer. One family left Monday morning, another intern leaves in July, I leave in July, the group of 10 interns comes in May and leaves in July, and only two families will be left. It's hard on the team and it's hard on the Thai believers at the church.

I wish you all were here alongside of me to experience and see the work going on here. But, I have to leave you just with this short (but longer than I meant) journal of this time. I love all of you. Thank you for your care.

Pictures from the first week

2009-04-20T23:33:00.000-07:00

The enormous Reclining Buddha.

One of the smaller river boats, not like the one that we rode on.

A part of the temple in our neighborhood.

Another part of the temple

More of the temple.

More temple.

Ramkahaeng 2 college campus.

New City Fellowship church, the church with which I'm working, and whose team I'm on.

This was one of the merit making parts of the Reclining Buddha temple in downtown Bangkok. Buddhists buy coins and drop them one at a time into these pots (making an eerie, sad clanging that rings constantly through the temple).

The market shrine. These permeate the entire city/nation. They believe it represents or even holds the spirits of the market in front of which it stands.

Park in our neighborhood.

Park in our neighborhood.

The Park in our neighborhood.

My supervisor, Paul, who's heading back to the states next week, in front of our house!

My new friend, Fon, who's also going to the States soon.

Seafood in Downtown Bangkok...Thai people love seafood.

The First Week

2009-04-20T20:45:00.000-07:00

I feel like there is no way for me to accurately portray what I have experienced in the last week - neither what I've seen and heard nor what I've experienced in my heart. But, man, it's been huge! This already has been one of the most difficult and unique experiences of my life, and I have to believe that the Lord is using it in ways that I can't even understand yet for His glory in my life and in the lives of the people here.

Life is different here in Thailand! I've played basketball where cars drive, gotten a Thai foot massage, seen an enormous gold Buddha, ridden in a river boat, prayed Asian style (where everyone prays at once), heard a sermon in Thai, eaten spicy curry, ridden on the back of motorbikes through a four-way "go" (there are no stop signs/lights in our area), walked through a temple and had some of the best smoothies I've ever tasted, among other things. I'm simply overwhelmed by the newness of it all!

Let me tell you first that this church - New City Fellowship Church - has an amazing vision and heart for the kingdom of God in this city and nation. I have already been struck by how badly they want for the Christians in Thailand to be united in the faith. And that means a lot to this group of Christians who are the extreme minority in a land permeated with Buddhism. What's more, they have such a heart to see the millions of lost Thai people influenced by the love and hope of the good news of Jesus.

So, I don't know how to rightly explain to you the situation that I find myself in, and what I've been struggling through during it; but maybe if I describe a normal morning over the last few days I'll be able to get the idea across. I've been waking up early because of the jet lag (it has made for burning eyes, tired days, and poor sleep; but I think I'm nearly over it now!), so it gives me time to read and pray before the family I'm living with gets up. I go outside to sit near the road, during the only cool part of the day. The most important thing that happens during that time is that the Holy Spirit brings peace and fellowship to my soul. In the middle of this new culture with what has proved to be a very frustrating language barrier, loneliness is very present in my heart. But because of that, my times in prayer have been real in a way that they rarely, if ever, have been before. The Lord has graced me with knowing His presence, and comforting me by making His promise to "never leave nor forsake you" very real to me personally.

On top of experiencing the Lord's presence, He has begun opening my eyes to see some very important things about myself, missions, and the time that I have here in Bangkok. I see that I've set up very high and wrong expectations for my time and work here. For some reason I feel this pressure to speak the gospel to every Thai person around me, to build solid friendships with every guy I meet while playing basketball, to accurately teach English to my students so that they can communicate perfectly, and to be effective in every endeavor I come across. But I can't. What a hard thing to say! Yet, as I wrote in my journal, "I need to see how to be faithful in what I'm given." And maybe even more importantly I wrote, "I am only a part of God's work in the kingdom, even here. A part." I cannot in three months learn their language, and I simply feel out of place in their culture. And so, more than anything, I have to trust that GOD is accomplishing His work in the Thai people's hearts, since it's quite obvious that there is little to nothing that I can do to communicate my heart to them.

Then, as the Lord brings peace to my heart from prayer and from the Scriptures, while teaching me that I need to worry about a lot less than I have been, I hear some people come walking down the street in front of me. When I look up, I am surprised by four men in orange robes walking down the street, slowly and somberly. I realize that the people I've heard coming out of their houses up to this point and going back in were bringing alms for the monks, who are making their morning rounds. As they make their way past the gate in front of me so that I can't see them anymore, my eye catches the spirit house next door - something that almost every Thai home and business will have to appease the spirits they believe to be surrounding that place/business.

And at the end of my morning quiet time I realize the comfort of my God and how real and good His work in me is; but I also realize the depth of the need of these people. They do not have the hope that I know (they are so caught up in thinking that all that they do will save/protect them - praying to spirits, offering food to spirits, taking care of shrines, doing kind works, etc., etc., etc.) and they do not know the salvation that I have.

So, here is a short summary of what I need for you all to pray for: (and being here has amplified how deeply I am in need of prayer; I hurt, I fail, I struggle, and it is just so clear that God has to do anything good that happens, and that He works through His people's care)
-My soul. I often feel lonely, and ineffective. The language barrier makes it difficult for me to see how to build relationships with the unbelieving Thai people. I need to know God's peace, and in the midst of my service I am also in the process of learning and understanding a lot - some of which I didn't have any idea I'd be working through.
-The unbelieving Thai people I encounter. My role as I understand it right now will largely be loving them, making friends, and bringing them to the Christians who can more effectively share hope with them. (I play basketball each day and will hopefully start having meals/going out with the people I encounter; I also will teach English to a boy named James and to a group of younger students)
-New City Fellowship Church. This is the hub of ministry, where the believers are encouraged and unbelievers see community. Lots of transition going on right now and they are praying for numbers and maturity - more Thai people and more leaders within the church to lead those new Christians.

My heart is very much with those of you praying for me and caring for me during this time. I pray for you as well. I trust that as this journey continues, the Lord will increase the good that He is doing.

P.S. - I've found out that Tuesdays are my free days, so I'll probably be posting each Tuesday. Just a heads up. :)

Anxiety and Hope

2009-04-12T18:33:00.000-07:00

It's been nearly four weeks since I last posted to update on my preparations for this journey. Sorry for the long time; in order to keep some regularity to these, I'm going to try to post every Sunday at some point, even if it's just a few words. But, a lot has happened since that last post in my heart; and now we're only three days from leaving the states for three months. The unrealness of the entire situation has formed itself into constant butterflies that have graced my stomach for the last three days. I just hope I can still eat...

The situation in Thailand: Right now, in Bangkok, protesters have been flooding the streets to stand against the government that was just revamped at the end of last year. Political turmoil is really not an uncommon sight there, and foreigners are almost never targetted. Yet, this people needs peace - the peace of a Savior - and their lack thereof can be seen even in their fluctuating government.

I've also found out that I will probably have some opportunities to serve the church and team through manual labor fairly regularly. While manual labor doesn't usually sound very fun, I really see this as a chance to do something familiar that won't involve the daily culture shock that I'll experience most other places. Plus, I get to be humbled by unseen service for the sake of the kingdom!

The biggest need I have right now is emotional and spiritual. My reason continually reminds me that God is sovereign, and will guide this experience and my life exactly as He intends, and that He is a good God, so His plan will be for good for me. But, ("but's" always seem to get me into trouble) I am still full of anxiety over this entire experience - living in a foreign place, not knowing the language, and being unsure of my place as I serve with this church. Even heavier on me though are the personal issues that I know I need to work through over the course of this summer. Sin in my heart, uncertainty in my desires, and the looming knowledge that I have no idea where I'm going once I get back from Thailand! My hope must be in Christ to guide and calm me. Please, ask the Lord to keep me from worrying about tomorrow, since today has enough worries of its own.

I'm already feeling how much your prayers will need to carry me! Here's hoping that I like rice and hot weather a lot more than I expect to...

Readiness

2009-03-18T12:02:00.000-07:00

I am now less than a month away from flying out of the Atlanta airport to spend three months pouring my life out for the sake of God's kingdom amongst the Thai people. My heart is definitely not fully in Thailand yet (my relationship with Mary, as well as my opportunities to tutor and spend time with my family and some very close friends have taken my attention quite a bit recently). I am, however, realizing much more poignantly how real this opportunity is.

I can also rarely remember knowing such a divergence of thought before a big event in my life. The excitement I've felt has led me to realizing just how huge these next three months could be. I am going to a people who are mostly unaware that a real savior exists in the person of Jesus Christ! In a completely new environment, I get the chance to focus on little other than living and speaking the gospel - what a thing to spend three months doing! What's more, this calling that's been growing within me over the last 5+ years into foreign mission work finally has the opportunity to be tested.

Yet, directly alongside of those thoughts are the anxieties about this time. I am overwhelmed at times by my ineptitude as I go. If I'm honest with myself, I know that I will hardly be able to converse in Thai for the majority of these three months. I have no personal interaction with the Buddhism that is the basis for these people's lives. And I don't really think I do a good job of intentionally purusuing relationships with people - which is how the Thais most readily come to faith!

And yet...and yet God continues to pave the way in even very practical ways for me to be completely consumed with the ministry of the gospel while I'm in Bangkok. Just last week I met a couple who will be on the team in Bangkok with me for a month of this summer; I didn't even know these two had ever been part of the team, and yet happened to meet them through a common friend in St. Louis!

In so many ways, I am not ready to go. And yet I am ready to pour myself out and pursue the life of the kingdom in this unique calling God has given me.

Uncertainty and Trust

2009-02-25T10:04:00.000-08:00

The last two weeks have been very heavy weeks for me. Relational and spiritual issues in my life have led me into long periods of thought and prayer, as well as a general atmosphere of heaviness. Times like this are not always bad; in fact I am generally led to learn and focus much more intensely during times like this than otherwise. Nonetheless, it has been heavy.

In the course of less than two weeks I have come to the point where I am once again uncertain as to where my life will go once I return from Thailand. Last summer I was called two weeks before Ridge Haven camp started and brought onto the staff. I went knowing that once I returned I had no idea what I would do for work, housing, or even a general purpose. I was thrown into the arms of Christ as the Provider, needing to trust His goodness; and even more so since I had no plan. It looks like I'm in that position again. Perhaps within the next few days God will provide clarity, maybe within the next month; but I have no guarantee that I will know the direction of my steps following Thailand.

On top of this temptation to fear the uncertainty of the future is the growing temptation to fear the actual time of living in Thailand. In the book I've begun reading, The Art of Crossing Cultures, I see just how different this place could be. Quotes from the first chapter:

"If you're not used to it, the heat and humidity of the tropics can be debilitating, even demoralizing."

"Wherever you live overseas, the list of things 'they don't have here' sometimes seems to have been designed with you personally in mind."
"The loss of routines hits you at your core. You expect to have to learn how to do new things overseas...but you may be surprised to discover that you have to learn to do things you normally do without thinking."

"There's nothing bad about (interacting...with people you don't know very well)...but it takes much more energy and effort than interacting with people you already know and who know you."

And the issues continue...but this is before the book even discusses interactions with the local people and their differences in culture.

Yet, the beautiful part of this time is that I believe it throws me again into the arms of Christ - the one safe place that I try to leave time and time again. I in no way need to know what will happen to me after I spend time in Thailand, nor what will happen while I'm there - not even what will come about tomorrow. What's even more true is that I can't know what will happen! I can learn the culture, but I cannot create any rightness or peace during this ministry. God is truly putting me into a place where I have to actually believe what I wrote about prayer in the last post: that it is where we come to God in complete recognition of our need. This time of heaviness and deep uncertainty has led to God lovingly forcing me to see my need for Christ.

Uncertainty may abound right now, but God is also making faith and peace to abound as well.

Prayer in the Kingdom

2009-02-17T14:59:00.000-08:00

Before this weekend I was not inclined to think of prayer as more than a very good thing for Christians to partake in. I have seen it as important to our relationship with our God, and for the refreshment of our souls, and even to make us more aware of the needs around us (as we intercede for others). But, over the course of this weekend I became aware of the reality that prayer is generally the conduit whereby God chooses to pour out His power upon this broken world.

I spent the weekend of February 13-15 at Ridge Haven Conference center in Brevard, NC at YoWAW (Youth World Awareness Weekend). Ryan Fisk and David McNeely brought forth a biblical understanding of missions to the group of youth, youth leaders, and Ridge Haven workers. During David's first talk, he pointed us to the truth that the power of God is the beginning and strength of missions. The Holy Spirit's work is what brings about the end of missions - which is the Redemption of all things.

In Mark 9, Jesus sends a demon out of a boy in danger of death because of this demon's possession of him. The disciples were dismayed because they were incapable of sending this demon out. Jesus assures them by telling them that "This kind can come out only by prayer." Yet, you look through the story and wonder where the prayer was. David's suggestion was that the man's cry of "I believe, help my unbelief" was the prayer. This man was honest with his faith and came to Christ for every part of the work that he was desperate to see happen. He trusted Christ, and the parts of himself that he knew he didn't trust the Lord in he threw at Jesus' feet in hopes that in them he would come to believe.

When I later went to a seminar on prayer in missions, I began to acknowledge the nail of prayer that the Lord was hammering into my heart. Prayer comes in two forms: a trough and an artesian well. In a trough, the water arrives only when we pour it there. We do the work, we provide the essentials, and the trough lies stagnant. We cannot bring about life-giving power by seeing our theologically correct prayers and routined sayings as the sources of that power. No matter how long we pray, with the view that it is our right standing before God that brings about His work, we fail. In an artesian well, however, the water flows freely. We can do nothing more than fall onto our knees before the spring and drink. The water is alive and given without acknowledgment to our work. Prayer is not a place for me to come to God with my list and talk about each, then hope that He'll deal with them. Prayer is the opportunity to fall, to confess my unbelief and to then trust completely on God's good hand to deliver.

I need men and women to pray. I cannot and will not see the kingdom pressed forth without the church of God interceding. Yet I do not want false prayers. I suppose they'll detriment those praying, but regardless they take no part in the kingdom. The kingdom is coming only with those believers who receive an aching for the redemption of the lost Thai people, and then confess their unbelief that God will truly do anything - but go forward hoping that He will anyway. I might believe now more than ever that hardened prostitutes, materialistic college students, and lost beggars on the street will entrust their souls to Jesus Christ when we yearn before God for their wholeness and then ask for it. Maybe the blind will even see. Regardless, I plead with my brothers and sisters to go with me to these lost people by trusting the Father in prayer.

A Heart Awakened

2009-02-09T11:11:00.000-08:00

Already I am amazed at the Lord's presence in my heart and life as I prepare for this ministry He has called me to in Thailand. Some 7 months ago God began placing in my heart a desire to spend an amount of my time overseas, taking part in the establishment of His kingdom, and developing an understanding of what life in cross-cultural ministry involves. A month or so later that desire formed into my relationship with Mission to the World, and I was accepted to serve as an intern with them. No more than a month after that, the Lord settled in my heart and the hearts of the team in Thailand for me to serve the Thai people alongside of those in the New City Fellowship Church in Bangkok.

Now, I am sitting in a high school classroom, substitute teaching, two months away from flying out of Norfolk, Virginia, eagerly anticipating that time when I'll be able to go just as I have been called to. The amazement I feel comes from the reality of the heart I am already developing for the Thai people, for the ministry of New City Fellowship, and simply for the pushing forth of Christ's kingdom. As I had the opportunity to study the Buddhism particular to Thailand at the end of last year, I began to understand the need of the Thai people to possess the hope and solidity of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Their false gods, their sexual distortions, their hopeless religion - I've begun to realize their reality much more definitely. How could a city with an estimated 1 million or more prostitutes possibly be characterized as a place with the fullness of Christ? And with less than 1% of the population proclaiming the biblical Jesus, how can anyone doubt that these people need messengers of the cross to go to them?

Toward the end of last week I began thinking more about the time I was going to be spending in this lost nation. I realized how near it is, and I felt an overwhelming desire to be poured out for the sake of the kingdom amongst these people. In his letter to Philippi, Paul writes that "even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you." (Philippians 2:17) A similar spirit has been laid upon me. Relatively speaking, I am going to serve with the church in Thailand for a very short time. Three months is not too long to pour myself out (as far as I know how) for the faith of the Thai people. When I return to the states, I can rest as much as I need. But for that time, I desire to give myself as fully as I know how to those people and that church.

I cannot determine how the Lord will direct my heart up until mid-April, when I leave for Thailand. However, I am full of anticipation over seeing His work continue in my own life, in the lives of those in New City Fellowship Church, and in the lives of the lost people of Thailand. May we see God's glory in that work.