Week 2 Pictures

Yu and Pa in the river at the dam on the retreat.














Pat (my awesome roommate on the Bass), Mot, and a couple girls leading a fun song.















The mountains of Thailand.













Me, Fon, a woman whose name I can't remember, Yu, and Melanie as we're leaving the church camp.











Me and Thai people in the river.














Max, Me, Max, and some of the women from the church camp.












Me and my roommate for the weekend, Max, sharing a tube ride down the river with the dam.











Again, me and my roommate (for the weekend) Max enjoying the breeze out the window of the bus. I tell you, any moving air is welcome in the Thai heat.













Max, one of the older church members, who works as an engineer in Bangkok. I think we hope to see him and his wife take ever increasing roles in leading the church as laity.













Max by the river. He's a college student at Ram 2, where we do our campus ministry. He's also part of the church community and a believer.















I spotted this horse as I walked out of room at the church camp one morning. Just a plain old horse wandering through a soccer field - nothing strange about that in Thailand.











My friend Fon, leaning out the window of the bus on the church camp retreat. The Thai people love to do crazy stuff with their fingers in pictures...look for it often.



















The dam we swam by. I thought I'd put these pictures side-by-side to let you see a little bit of how big it was. And I was told that it was fairly small compared to some in Thailand.








Daang's fingers out the window of the bus.

















Yu, Fon, We, and other women from the church camp.













The camp resort in which we stayed. Beautiful place, eh?
















Me by the river with a friend from the church camp - she's wanting to learn English with the church and not a believer - one of the best opportunities for the people in the church to share the gospel with a person.












Me loving life out the window of our bus.







Black squirrel with white tail.

Week 2: Humility, Struggle, and Peace

This second week really painfully hammered humility into me - but it also brought a lot of peace. I continue to struggle in very real ways with thoughts toward inadequacy and fear. It's just amazing how real these pains are! But, I received some great teaching and had some wonderful conversations that eased my soul in unexpected and incredible ways.

The church took a retreat this last weekend to a resort-style place up in the mountains about two hours from the Ram 2 area (where we live and where the church is). The peace alone of driving into the mountains is hard to express. As we drove up I remembered last summer at Ridge Haven (the camp I worked at in the NC mountains), and yearned for that fellowship and peace again. I listened to some of the hymns we sang from last summer on my mp3 player and felt some of the deepest longing to be in a place on earth that I've ever felt in my life. That really points you to how real my feelings of being alone still are.

But, that weekend in the mountains proved to be the climax of the last thirteen days, and probably the most important thing so far in directing me to how to view this summer. First, a man named Natee - the man whose little girl is going through the medical problems that I wrote about earlier in March - brought solid and beautiful teaching on how we understand where God is calling us to. As I sat next to Dave - the team leader, who very much took me under his wing that weekend - and heard the translation of Natee's teaching, I began realizing in small ways how God is using this summer. Through a conversation with Dave and one with Natee, I've realized how directed this summer is toward my heart and growth. As Dave said in an interview about short term teams (which translates to interns in some ways, too), "I guess first then we would take them because of what we believe God wants to do in their hearts while they are here. Secondarily we take them because of the assistance they can bring in helping us accomplish our church planting goals." In his teaching, Natee opened up to us the truth that God maily uses three things to guide us into our calling: our spiritual gifts, our ministry passions, and the need that we see. I fully believe that this summer is beginning a time for me to really hone in on where I'm gifted and where my heart of hearts for ministry lies.

So, I am daily struggling with the fact that I just can't build the kind of relationships I want to with these Thai people. I want to be able to share my heart with them - and I just can't! I am so thankful that me and my roommate Pat have begun sharing a much stronger relationship. (In fact, I think that a large part of my ministry will be encouraging him.) But even in that I've realized that language allows for understanding in a way that nothing else does, and so there is and will be some disconnect since we just can't communicate fully. Then there's how I now fear that I won't walk away from this summer with the kind of perspective and understanding that I should. Yet, I have so much less burden to somehow be superhuman. God will do in me exactly as He wants, and at the end of the summer, I think it will be good. Besides that, I'll do ministry as creatively as possible, and I'll seek to love these people I'm with, but it's ultimately up to the Lord as to how things turn out. What a comforting thought. As Natee told me, we often just don't live out what we believe in all areas of our life...But God is in control.

So, maybe you're wondering what I can add to my list of new things I've done/seen in this wacky world of Thailand? Here's what I've got so far: I learned to play "slave" (a card game), I ate dragonfruit, I took part in a bus "dance party" (let me tell you, the buses here are crazy; they're all rainbow colored and have spotlights, disco lights, and heavy-duty speakers inside), I used an open-air urinal with cars driving by not too far away, I rode a tube with a Thai guy down a river next to a dam, and burned my mouth pretty much daily with the staple Thai spices. Guess I'll just keep the new experiences rolling.

Again, I want you to know how to specifically be praying for me, this church, and these people. And each week I see even further how deeply I need prayer; I'm just so incapable, and the people at this church cannot acccomplish anything worthwhile - we struggle and fear, and we need God to work (which He does largely through His people's involvement in prayer).
-My growth and heart. Seeing how I hope for the Lord to begin giving me understanding to my passion in ministry and view of missions, I need His hand to guide me there. Also, I continue to feel alone - especially in the mornings - and to see my inadequacy.
-New City Fellowship. This church lacks mature believers to lead it, and we are hoping to see the Christians within the church begin to take hold of the ministries of the church.
-The MTW team and the church staff. There is so much transition, constantly, and especially this summer. One family left Monday morning, another intern leaves in July, I leave in July, the group of 10 interns comes in May and leaves in July, and only two families will be left. It's hard on the team and it's hard on the Thai believers at the church.

I wish you all were here alongside of me to experience and see the work going on here. But, I have to leave you just with this short (but longer than I meant) journal of this time. I love all of you. Thank you for your care.

Pictures from the first week

The enormous Reclining Buddha.

















One of the smaller river boats, not like the one that we rode on.













A part of the temple in our neighborhood.



















Another part of the temple














More of the temple.


















More temple.

















Ramkahaeng 2 college campus.















New City Fellowship church, the church with which I'm working, and whose team I'm on.















This was one of the merit making parts of the Reclining Buddha temple in downtown Bangkok. Buddhists buy coins and drop them one at a time into these pots (making an eerie, sad clanging that rings constantly through the temple).
















The market shrine. These permeate the entire city/nation. They believe it represents or even holds the spirits of the market in front of which it stands.

















Park in our neighborhood.
















Park in our neighborhood.










The Park in our neighborhood.

















My supervisor, Paul, who's heading back to the states next week, in front of our house!










My new friend, Fon, who's also going to the States soon.









Seafood in Downtown Bangkok...Thai people love seafood.

The First Week

I feel like there is no way for me to accurately portray what I have experienced in the last week - neither what I've seen and heard nor what I've experienced in my heart. But, man, it's been huge! This already has been one of the most difficult and unique experiences of my life, and I have to believe that the Lord is using it in ways that I can't even understand yet for His glory in my life and in the lives of the people here.

Life is different here in Thailand! I've played basketball where cars drive, gotten a Thai foot massage, seen an enormous gold Buddha, ridden in a river boat, prayed Asian style (where everyone prays at once), heard a sermon in Thai, eaten spicy curry, ridden on the back of motorbikes through a four-way "go" (there are no stop signs/lights in our area), walked through a temple and had some of the best smoothies I've ever tasted, among other things. I'm simply overwhelmed by the newness of it all!

Let me tell you first that this church - New City Fellowship Church - has an amazing vision and heart for the kingdom of God in this city and nation. I have already been struck by how badly they want for the Christians in Thailand to be united in the faith. And that means a lot to this group of Christians who are the extreme minority in a land permeated with Buddhism. What's more, they have such a heart to see the millions of lost Thai people influenced by the love and hope of the good news of Jesus.

So, I don't know how to rightly explain to you the situation that I find myself in, and what I've been struggling through during it; but maybe if I describe a normal morning over the last few days I'll be able to get the idea across. I've been waking up early because of the jet lag (it has made for burning eyes, tired days, and poor sleep; but I think I'm nearly over it now!), so it gives me time to read and pray before the family I'm living with gets up. I go outside to sit near the road, during the only cool part of the day. The most important thing that happens during that time is that the Holy Spirit brings peace and fellowship to my soul. In the middle of this new culture with what has proved to be a very frustrating language barrier, loneliness is very present in my heart. But because of that, my times in prayer have been real in a way that they rarely, if ever, have been before. The Lord has graced me with knowing His presence, and comforting me by making His promise to "never leave nor forsake you" very real to me personally.

On top of experiencing the Lord's presence, He has begun opening my eyes to see some very important things about myself, missions, and the time that I have here in Bangkok. I see that I've set up very high and wrong expectations for my time and work here. For some reason I feel this pressure to speak the gospel to every Thai person around me, to build solid friendships with every guy I meet while playing basketball, to accurately teach English to my students so that they can communicate perfectly, and to be effective in every endeavor I come across. But I can't. What a hard thing to say! Yet, as I wrote in my journal, "I need to see how to be faithful in what I'm given." And maybe even more importantly I wrote, "I am only a part of God's work in the kingdom, even here. A part." I cannot in three months learn their language, and I simply feel out of place in their culture. And so, more than anything, I have to trust that GOD is accomplishing His work in the Thai people's hearts, since it's quite obvious that there is little to nothing that I can do to communicate my heart to them.

Then, as the Lord brings peace to my heart from prayer and from the Scriptures, while teaching me that I need to worry about a lot less than I have been, I hear some people come walking down the street in front of me. When I look up, I am surprised by four men in orange robes walking down the street, slowly and somberly. I realize that the people I've heard coming out of their houses up to this point and going back in were bringing alms for the monks, who are making their morning rounds. As they make their way past the gate in front of me so that I can't see them anymore, my eye catches the spirit house next door - something that almost every Thai home and business will have to appease the spirits they believe to be surrounding that place/business.

And at the end of my morning quiet time I realize the comfort of my God and how real and good His work in me is; but I also realize the depth of the need of these people. They do not have the hope that I know (they are so caught up in thinking that all that they do will save/protect them - praying to spirits, offering food to spirits, taking care of shrines, doing kind works, etc., etc., etc.) and they do not know the salvation that I have.

So, here is a short summary of what I need for you all to pray for: (and being here has amplified how deeply I am in need of prayer; I hurt, I fail, I struggle, and it is just so clear that God has to do anything good that happens, and that He works through His people's care)
-My soul. I often feel lonely, and ineffective. The language barrier makes it difficult for me to see how to build relationships with the unbelieving Thai people. I need to know God's peace, and in the midst of my service I am also in the process of learning and understanding a lot - some of which I didn't have any idea I'd be working through.
-The unbelieving Thai people I encounter. My role as I understand it right now will largely be loving them, making friends, and bringing them to the Christians who can more effectively share hope with them. (I play basketball each day and will hopefully start having meals/going out with the people I encounter; I also will teach English to a boy named James and to a group of younger students)
-New City Fellowship Church. This is the hub of ministry, where the believers are encouraged and unbelievers see community. Lots of transition going on right now and they are praying for numbers and maturity - more Thai people and more leaders within the church to lead those new Christians.

My heart is very much with those of you praying for me and caring for me during this time. I pray for you as well. I trust that as this journey continues, the Lord will increase the good that He is doing.

P.S. - I've found out that Tuesdays are my free days, so I'll probably be posting each Tuesday. Just a heads up. :)

Anxiety and Hope

It's been nearly four weeks since I last posted to update on my preparations for this journey. Sorry for the long time; in order to keep some regularity to these, I'm going to try to post every Sunday at some point, even if it's just a few words. But, a lot has happened since that last post in my heart; and now we're only three days from leaving the states for three months. The unrealness of the entire situation has formed itself into constant butterflies that have graced my stomach for the last three days. I just hope I can still eat...

The situation in Thailand: Right now, in Bangkok, protesters have been flooding the streets to stand against the government that was just revamped at the end of last year. Political turmoil is really not an uncommon sight there, and foreigners are almost never targetted. Yet, this people needs peace - the peace of a Savior - and their lack thereof can be seen even in their fluctuating government.

I've also found out that I will probably have some opportunities to serve the church and team through manual labor fairly regularly. While manual labor doesn't usually sound very fun, I really see this as a chance to do something familiar that won't involve the daily culture shock that I'll experience most other places. Plus, I get to be humbled by unseen service for the sake of the kingdom!

The biggest need I have right now is emotional and spiritual. My reason continually reminds me that God is sovereign, and will guide this experience and my life exactly as He intends, and that He is a good God, so His plan will be for good for me. But, ("but's" always seem to get me into trouble) I am still full of anxiety over this entire experience - living in a foreign place, not knowing the language, and being unsure of my place as I serve with this church. Even heavier on me though are the personal issues that I know I need to work through over the course of this summer. Sin in my heart, uncertainty in my desires, and the looming knowledge that I have no idea where I'm going once I get back from Thailand! My hope must be in Christ to guide and calm me. Please, ask the Lord to keep me from worrying about tomorrow, since today has enough worries of its own.

I'm already feeling how much your prayers will need to carry me! Here's hoping that I like rice and hot weather a lot more than I expect to...