Readiness

I am now less than a month away from flying out of the Atlanta airport to spend three months pouring my life out for the sake of God's kingdom amongst the Thai people. My heart is definitely not fully in Thailand yet (my relationship with Mary, as well as my opportunities to tutor and spend time with my family and some very close friends have taken my attention quite a bit recently). I am, however, realizing much more poignantly how real this opportunity is.

I can also rarely remember knowing such a divergence of thought before a big event in my life. The excitement I've felt has led me to realizing just how huge these next three months could be. I am going to a people who are mostly unaware that a real savior exists in the person of Jesus Christ! In a completely new environment, I get the chance to focus on little other than living and speaking the gospel - what a thing to spend three months doing! What's more, this calling that's been growing within me over the last 5+ years into foreign mission work finally has the opportunity to be tested.

Yet, directly alongside of those thoughts are the anxieties about this time. I am overwhelmed at times by my ineptitude as I go. If I'm honest with myself, I know that I will hardly be able to converse in Thai for the majority of these three months. I have no personal interaction with the Buddhism that is the basis for these people's lives. And I don't really think I do a good job of intentionally purusuing relationships with people - which is how the Thais most readily come to faith!

And yet...and yet God continues to pave the way in even very practical ways for me to be completely consumed with the ministry of the gospel while I'm in Bangkok. Just last week I met a couple who will be on the team in Bangkok with me for a month of this summer; I didn't even know these two had ever been part of the team, and yet happened to meet them through a common friend in St. Louis!

In so many ways, I am not ready to go. And yet I am ready to pour myself out and pursue the life of the kingdom in this unique calling God has given me.