Sunday, May 31, 2009
Daily Manna
I think I mentioned earlier that I've been blessed with the awesome opportunity to write the daily devotional used at New City Fellowship here in Bangkok. This devotional, known as the "Daily Manna", is written each month by a staff member and translated into Thai (or written originally in Thai depending on who writes it). The church members use this to disciple young believers, present the gospel to unbelievers, and encourage church members. I was asked to write June's studies, and I want to offer these readings to those of you reading the blog as well. The month of June is a collective study on the Holy Spirit in the Old Testament and at Pentecost. My prayer is that the Lord uses it to establish and build up the faith of His church. Each day I'll post the day's devotion, starting with June 1, which I'll post later today. My prayers continue to be with you all, and I covet your prayers for me and this place as well.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Weeks 5-6 Pictures
Me, Melanie, and Trey in front of Starbucks being goofy missionaries.
The temple shrine right downtown. The overwhelming smell of incense and the dozens of people stopping to offer flower gifts, fruit, prayers, or whatever else as they kneeled before this idol struck me very hard. These people very clearly worship false gods.
A slightly more normal picture in front of Starbucks.
My friends Jin and Kay alongside of me and Thai Ronald. How great of McDonalds to make sure Ronald is "wiing" people instead of waving. Great marketing.
Dha, Yu, Chaen, Fon, and me at the newly discovered ice cream shop. Amazingly, I discovered that this ice cream shop has, get this....an ice cream buffet! Two bucks for as much ice cream as you can eat in a 1/2 hour! I can't wait.
The reason I have a 7-stitch scar on my head.
My eyes reach above that corner. The average Thai can walk right under it.
An average night in our house, with Pat sitting at the table.
My stitched head.
Another view of my stitched head.
All healed, but with a little iodine residue. I'm just glad I don't have strings coming out of my head anymore.
Week 6: Changes
I can feel the entire face of this experience changing. Thursday of last week the two leaders of a team of 10 Americans arrived. Trey and Kiki are wonderful, and they're looking toward coming here as career missionaries after seminary. This coming Saturday the 8 college-aged interns that will complete that team land in Bangkok. They're not yet here, but it is very obvious that my experience will drastically change when they are, and the work of this team will shift as well. The loneliness that has so pervaded my experience will be dealt a heavy blow by the presence of 8 native English-speakers who are also near the same stage of life as me. My excitement has been rising each day that their arrival has gotten closer. And now that it's almost here, I just can't wait to have them to serve alongside!
But this means that some of my thoughts and struggles will be changing as well. I'll have a different view of ministry overseas with them alongside me. I realize that the general experience of serving on the mission field does not involve me living in a house with 10 other Americans whom I can share my heart with and who will share in the daily life of being a minister in another world. I am also going to have to be very aware of the temptation to neglect relationships with Thai people because of desire to solely encourage and enjoy the Americans. On the positive side, their presence means 10 more people prodding me to deeper ministry and refining my faith. Regardless, I am really hoping for the Lord to continue using this time - as He has been - to open my eyes to the gifts and desires He has placed in my life. I still want to see how I fit into His mission to redeem all nations of the world.
On the note of understanding life in ministry overseas, let me share how the Lord provoked my heart just last night. In case you're unaware, movies tend to powerfully affect me. The right movie at the right time can throw me into emotional and/or mental reflection for long periods of time. On Monday night I watched Black Hawk Down with Phi Kieow and Melanie. The intensity of that movie made me much more sensitive to the war that surrounds me. Thailand is not torn by warlords, military occupation, civil battles, or genocide. But there is a war being waged in the souls of these people that is just as intense as that physical war portrayed in Somalia ("For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places." -Ephesians 6.12). This war is real, and for the most part I have not opened my heart to being aware of it.
On the way back to my house, I found myself alone on our street. It felt right to take my shoes off and begin praying for these people. I prayed for those on the street, for the entire city and nation, for the believers in our church, and for my supporters back in America. As I walked barefoot down the street with my basketball shoes in one hand and Pat's sunglasses in the other, I felt the metaphor of that walk. In one hand I carried the comfort, the burdens, the memories of my American life and culture. In the other I carried my Thai Christian brothers and sisters, their needs, my service to them, their burdens, and their joys. All of this I carried while my bare feet tread these streets and I prayed for the lost - connecting me to this place and this people. This is the life of a missionary. This is the life I am living right now.
At the end of the street (after having walked it a couple times), I found myself praying that if the Lord wanted to call me to this for a lifetime, that I wanted to be willing to follow. I prayed (and have continued praying) that He make me willing to follow His calling into missions if that is His desire for me. I don't know if I'll end up overseas at some point for the rest of my life. I don't know how or where God will call in a year or two or ten. And I certainly am way too unsure of my heart and what missions means to confidently move into it right away. But I felt the reality of this life and sensed the Father's presence with me in this place. I have to now trust that He will provide guidance, that He will faithfully lead my life.
So I've realized some past experiences of this journey that I haven't shared with you yet, that I want to now - and there have been some new ones that I'll share too. What exactly has happened in this crazy land of the Thais? Well, I took nearly 5 minutes to pay for a 15 minute bus ride because I couldn't understand how much it cost; I saw four Americans escorted by four Thai prostitutes out of the airport; I heard that the Thai police actually have criminals re-enact crimes once they're arrested so that they can take pictures of them in the act (pretty self-incriminating if you ask me - the funniest part of this is that Tim had passed a man dressed only in his underwear on the streets, with at least one police officer with a camera - I guess they got him on indecent exposure); I ate sticky rice, mango, and ice cream (a heavenly combination); and I swam in a sweaty pool on the open third floor in a housing complex, after which I dipped in a chilly tub, then a hot tub, and then sat in a sauna which I soon felt pretty confident is what Hell would be like.
As you can easily read into this post, I am in need of much from God's hand, particularly in the way of understanding and guidance. And as I continue serving these people, I see the need they have of comfort, rest, freedom from fear, maturity, and so much else that can only come from the Lord. And I fully believe that God brings this largely through the prayers of His people. So, I am blatantly asking for prayer for myself a whole lot this week, as I continue in this struggle of understanding my calling. But here is what I see us needing prayer in:
-Me and my calling. I've explained this pretty far already.
-The team of interns. They'll be in pre-field training all through this week and arriving on Saturday (culture shock, the heat, jet lag will all be factors immediately).
-The campus ministry. With the interns' arrival we will be able to involve ourselves in a lot more relationships and activities. This coming Monday we have "initiation" on campus where those who signed up for University Christian Fellowship (UCF) will join the club - it'll be a great time to start lots of those relationships (with many who are not Christians).
I hope to hear that the Lord is bringing grace and rest to your hearts as well. Thank you for the love I continually receive from you. My heart is still very much with you all.
But this means that some of my thoughts and struggles will be changing as well. I'll have a different view of ministry overseas with them alongside me. I realize that the general experience of serving on the mission field does not involve me living in a house with 10 other Americans whom I can share my heart with and who will share in the daily life of being a minister in another world. I am also going to have to be very aware of the temptation to neglect relationships with Thai people because of desire to solely encourage and enjoy the Americans. On the positive side, their presence means 10 more people prodding me to deeper ministry and refining my faith. Regardless, I am really hoping for the Lord to continue using this time - as He has been - to open my eyes to the gifts and desires He has placed in my life. I still want to see how I fit into His mission to redeem all nations of the world.
On the note of understanding life in ministry overseas, let me share how the Lord provoked my heart just last night. In case you're unaware, movies tend to powerfully affect me. The right movie at the right time can throw me into emotional and/or mental reflection for long periods of time. On Monday night I watched Black Hawk Down with Phi Kieow and Melanie. The intensity of that movie made me much more sensitive to the war that surrounds me. Thailand is not torn by warlords, military occupation, civil battles, or genocide. But there is a war being waged in the souls of these people that is just as intense as that physical war portrayed in Somalia ("For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places." -Ephesians 6.12). This war is real, and for the most part I have not opened my heart to being aware of it.
On the way back to my house, I found myself alone on our street. It felt right to take my shoes off and begin praying for these people. I prayed for those on the street, for the entire city and nation, for the believers in our church, and for my supporters back in America. As I walked barefoot down the street with my basketball shoes in one hand and Pat's sunglasses in the other, I felt the metaphor of that walk. In one hand I carried the comfort, the burdens, the memories of my American life and culture. In the other I carried my Thai Christian brothers and sisters, their needs, my service to them, their burdens, and their joys. All of this I carried while my bare feet tread these streets and I prayed for the lost - connecting me to this place and this people. This is the life of a missionary. This is the life I am living right now.
At the end of the street (after having walked it a couple times), I found myself praying that if the Lord wanted to call me to this for a lifetime, that I wanted to be willing to follow. I prayed (and have continued praying) that He make me willing to follow His calling into missions if that is His desire for me. I don't know if I'll end up overseas at some point for the rest of my life. I don't know how or where God will call in a year or two or ten. And I certainly am way too unsure of my heart and what missions means to confidently move into it right away. But I felt the reality of this life and sensed the Father's presence with me in this place. I have to now trust that He will provide guidance, that He will faithfully lead my life.
So I've realized some past experiences of this journey that I haven't shared with you yet, that I want to now - and there have been some new ones that I'll share too. What exactly has happened in this crazy land of the Thais? Well, I took nearly 5 minutes to pay for a 15 minute bus ride because I couldn't understand how much it cost; I saw four Americans escorted by four Thai prostitutes out of the airport; I heard that the Thai police actually have criminals re-enact crimes once they're arrested so that they can take pictures of them in the act (pretty self-incriminating if you ask me - the funniest part of this is that Tim had passed a man dressed only in his underwear on the streets, with at least one police officer with a camera - I guess they got him on indecent exposure); I ate sticky rice, mango, and ice cream (a heavenly combination); and I swam in a sweaty pool on the open third floor in a housing complex, after which I dipped in a chilly tub, then a hot tub, and then sat in a sauna which I soon felt pretty confident is what Hell would be like.
As you can easily read into this post, I am in need of much from God's hand, particularly in the way of understanding and guidance. And as I continue serving these people, I see the need they have of comfort, rest, freedom from fear, maturity, and so much else that can only come from the Lord. And I fully believe that God brings this largely through the prayers of His people. So, I am blatantly asking for prayer for myself a whole lot this week, as I continue in this struggle of understanding my calling. But here is what I see us needing prayer in:
-Me and my calling. I've explained this pretty far already.
-The team of interns. They'll be in pre-field training all through this week and arriving on Saturday (culture shock, the heat, jet lag will all be factors immediately).
-The campus ministry. With the interns' arrival we will be able to involve ourselves in a lot more relationships and activities. This coming Monday we have "initiation" on campus where those who signed up for University Christian Fellowship (UCF) will join the club - it'll be a great time to start lots of those relationships (with many who are not Christians).
I hope to hear that the Lord is bringing grace and rest to your hearts as well. Thank you for the love I continually receive from you. My heart is still very much with you all.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Week 5: Complications Inside and Outside My Head
You would think that a week in which I had to get 7 stitches in my forehead would be an eventful week, right? Surprisingly enough the last 5 or 6 days have probably been the least abnormal since I've been here. I have gone through a lot of inner struggle of thought, and I've seen even further the purpose and direction of the ministries in this church. But maybe it's been the 5 straight days of torrential rain that have kept the regular abnormalities at bay.
I suppose I should first tell the story of the gash in my head - unfortunately it's not a very exciting one. As my missionary friends have said to me, it's just too bad I can't go home and say I got that scar from an elephant tusk or saving a Thai girl from being hit by a motorcycle! Unfortunately, I have seven stitches in my head right now mostly because I'm too tall for Thailand. During one of our torrential downpours I was walking back to the church from lunch and was wearing my nice, new rain jacket. With my hood up I don't have much peripheral vision, and I basically walked right into an air conditioning unit! I didn't think anything was wrong at first, until I decided to rub the spot where I had hit my head and pulled my hand away to find quite a bit of blood on it. A member of our Thai staff, Phi Chai, took me by taxi to the hospital and for about $110 I was able to get a Tetanus, the follow-up medicine, and the nurse and surgeon care necessary for the stitches. Also unfortunately, there wasn't even anything very unique about Thai hospitals. Great service, normal amenities, and the same hospital smell. Maybe the only unique thing was the cart of unlabeled drinks that were set out for anyone to take. Overall, not too bad I guess.
Thankfully colliding with an AC unit didn't mess with the inside of my head - as far as I can tell. But it has left my mind free to think and struggle through a lot concerning the call of God upon my life. As I continue serving here, I continue to feel much confusion over my place in missions. I've felt for years now that my life ought to be given somewhere among the unbelieving nations of the world, where there is little to no Christian witness. But, being here makes the reality of cross-cultural ministry much stronger, and I am struggling through where the Lord's call upon me is. I have wondered if the gifts God has given me are most wisely used cross-culturally. Not to mention I wonder what my gifts even are! I know that I love to teach the Bible, I love to preach God's Word, and to encourage Christians to gain a deeper understanding of truth. But am I called and equipped to do that in another language, another culture? Then I wonder if my heart really is to be in a place like Thailand. I wonder if I ought to go elsewhere and see if my heart lies there, instead. But I wonder if those desires are even important in considering where there is need and where God is calling me to (my inclination is to say that the desires God gives us are good and often are indicative of where He's calling us). At the end of the day (actually, it usually happens at the beginning for me) I am comforted by this truth: God knows. He will guide me as He desires, and I can rest in that, waiting on Him.
Last night I taught an adult English class, and got to see one of the essential ministries at New Community Fellowship. I had the class read a children's version of the story of the Prodigal Son. Lots of good words and concepts to discuss in English, and I think they learned quite a bit from that. Then I asked them what they thought of it. It was at this point that I saw the wisdom in what the church has recently been doing: there are enough Thai Christians in the church that want to learn English that they've tried to have at least one Christian in each English class. Then, when discussions arise, there is the opportunity for those believers to share their faith and their hearts with the others in the class. It was beautiful to see these four people interacting and sharing life together. Through these English classes, and things like the camp that we're having next month, our church members are able to build relationships with these people, love them, encourage them, and simply live life with them. At unique times like last night, we may even get to speak the truth of Jesus Christ to them.
I realized that last week I totally forgot the portion of the blog that tells you about the new things I've experienced. I'm so sorry, because I know that's what most people really read this for anyway! :) So, in the last two weeks, I ate a literal ice cream sandwich (ice cream scooped into a bun - really a great idea), drank cantaloupe flavored milk, ate fried bread filled with coconut, accidentally bought and tried to use lotion as body wash since I couldn't read the label, ate an entire shrimp since they don't peel the tails for you, witnessed a monk receiving alms from two families, tried the delicious "queen of the fruits" known as mangosteen, ate butterfish, showered next to open fish containers (really there was just a wall about waist-high extended into the bathroom that had water and fish in it) and brushed my teeth with that water, and ran and came in second in a 3K race that I bought shoes and registered for less than two hours before the race.
So, I continue to see my lack of use and many shortcomings. But in those same places I just realize how essential God's work is; I have no way of employing evanglism methods, church-growing techniques, personality strengths, etc. It's just God's Spirit moving if anything of worth happens. I hope that in seeing all that's going on, the Lord continues to bring believers to realizing the importance of their hearts in prayer before Him. Here are things that I'm aware of us needing prayer in:
-My Growth. As you've seen, I am very confused about what this experience means in my calling. I'm also still discovering how to serve this church and people most faithfully.
-English Camp/Classes. July 13-14 we have English camp for any students or people interested in English. The camps are usually some of the most effective times to build relationships amongst the English students. As I mentioned, I see how important these classes are, and there are many throughout the week offered by our church.
-Campus Ministries. School is in the process of starting now, and we have our first UCF club meeting this Sunday. Pray also that we would have unity with the other campus ministry, Youth With A Mission (YWAM).
-The Church Body. One of our members' father died this week, and it has caused grief and bitterness in that family. That Christian needs grace to live faithfully and know God's hope. Our staff needs grace to love that family deeply. Also, as school starts back up, more people will be coming to church - most likely - and we continue to desire growth in numbers and maturity.
Thank you for praying, and for caring for me. While I am glad for this experience, and believe that God is teaching me in many ways, my heart often returns to the States and my family in Christ there. May the Lord continue keeping us in His rest.
I suppose I should first tell the story of the gash in my head - unfortunately it's not a very exciting one. As my missionary friends have said to me, it's just too bad I can't go home and say I got that scar from an elephant tusk or saving a Thai girl from being hit by a motorcycle! Unfortunately, I have seven stitches in my head right now mostly because I'm too tall for Thailand. During one of our torrential downpours I was walking back to the church from lunch and was wearing my nice, new rain jacket. With my hood up I don't have much peripheral vision, and I basically walked right into an air conditioning unit! I didn't think anything was wrong at first, until I decided to rub the spot where I had hit my head and pulled my hand away to find quite a bit of blood on it. A member of our Thai staff, Phi Chai, took me by taxi to the hospital and for about $110 I was able to get a Tetanus, the follow-up medicine, and the nurse and surgeon care necessary for the stitches. Also unfortunately, there wasn't even anything very unique about Thai hospitals. Great service, normal amenities, and the same hospital smell. Maybe the only unique thing was the cart of unlabeled drinks that were set out for anyone to take. Overall, not too bad I guess.
Thankfully colliding with an AC unit didn't mess with the inside of my head - as far as I can tell. But it has left my mind free to think and struggle through a lot concerning the call of God upon my life. As I continue serving here, I continue to feel much confusion over my place in missions. I've felt for years now that my life ought to be given somewhere among the unbelieving nations of the world, where there is little to no Christian witness. But, being here makes the reality of cross-cultural ministry much stronger, and I am struggling through where the Lord's call upon me is. I have wondered if the gifts God has given me are most wisely used cross-culturally. Not to mention I wonder what my gifts even are! I know that I love to teach the Bible, I love to preach God's Word, and to encourage Christians to gain a deeper understanding of truth. But am I called and equipped to do that in another language, another culture? Then I wonder if my heart really is to be in a place like Thailand. I wonder if I ought to go elsewhere and see if my heart lies there, instead. But I wonder if those desires are even important in considering where there is need and where God is calling me to (my inclination is to say that the desires God gives us are good and often are indicative of where He's calling us). At the end of the day (actually, it usually happens at the beginning for me) I am comforted by this truth: God knows. He will guide me as He desires, and I can rest in that, waiting on Him.
Last night I taught an adult English class, and got to see one of the essential ministries at New Community Fellowship. I had the class read a children's version of the story of the Prodigal Son. Lots of good words and concepts to discuss in English, and I think they learned quite a bit from that. Then I asked them what they thought of it. It was at this point that I saw the wisdom in what the church has recently been doing: there are enough Thai Christians in the church that want to learn English that they've tried to have at least one Christian in each English class. Then, when discussions arise, there is the opportunity for those believers to share their faith and their hearts with the others in the class. It was beautiful to see these four people interacting and sharing life together. Through these English classes, and things like the camp that we're having next month, our church members are able to build relationships with these people, love them, encourage them, and simply live life with them. At unique times like last night, we may even get to speak the truth of Jesus Christ to them.
I realized that last week I totally forgot the portion of the blog that tells you about the new things I've experienced. I'm so sorry, because I know that's what most people really read this for anyway! :) So, in the last two weeks, I ate a literal ice cream sandwich (ice cream scooped into a bun - really a great idea), drank cantaloupe flavored milk, ate fried bread filled with coconut, accidentally bought and tried to use lotion as body wash since I couldn't read the label, ate an entire shrimp since they don't peel the tails for you, witnessed a monk receiving alms from two families, tried the delicious "queen of the fruits" known as mangosteen, ate butterfish, showered next to open fish containers (really there was just a wall about waist-high extended into the bathroom that had water and fish in it) and brushed my teeth with that water, and ran and came in second in a 3K race that I bought shoes and registered for less than two hours before the race.
So, I continue to see my lack of use and many shortcomings. But in those same places I just realize how essential God's work is; I have no way of employing evanglism methods, church-growing techniques, personality strengths, etc. It's just God's Spirit moving if anything of worth happens. I hope that in seeing all that's going on, the Lord continues to bring believers to realizing the importance of their hearts in prayer before Him. Here are things that I'm aware of us needing prayer in:
-My Growth. As you've seen, I am very confused about what this experience means in my calling. I'm also still discovering how to serve this church and people most faithfully.
-English Camp/Classes. July 13-14 we have English camp for any students or people interested in English. The camps are usually some of the most effective times to build relationships amongst the English students. As I mentioned, I see how important these classes are, and there are many throughout the week offered by our church.
-Campus Ministries. School is in the process of starting now, and we have our first UCF club meeting this Sunday. Pray also that we would have unity with the other campus ministry, Youth With A Mission (YWAM).
-The Church Body. One of our members' father died this week, and it has caused grief and bitterness in that family. That Christian needs grace to live faithfully and know God's hope. Our staff needs grace to love that family deeply. Also, as school starts back up, more people will be coming to church - most likely - and we continue to desire growth in numbers and maturity.
Thank you for praying, and for caring for me. While I am glad for this experience, and believe that God is teaching me in many ways, my heart often returns to the States and my family in Christ there. May the Lord continue keeping us in His rest.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Week 4 Pictures
Our amazing beach resort building for the campus leadership retreat.
Tim and the view from our balcony on the campus retreat to the beach.
Inside the resort room on the retreat.
Me, Pat, Go, and Ying in the amazing van we took to the resort. It had a TV, amazing leather seats, and there were just five of us with room for about 10. Lots of good Harry Potter reading while the Thais watching Miami Vice.
This, my friends, is a rotee. Delicious..."aroy"
A peacock spitting his game.
Me next to a peacock who's opened his tail feathers. According to Wit, this is the largest bird farm in all of Asia. The funny thing was that for the first hour I didn't see a single bird! I thought we'd come to a giant bird farm to see an aquariam and statues. Then we came to the giant peacock enclosure, the ostriches, the emu, the parrots, etc.
An emu at the giant bird farm.
One of the many ostriches at the bird farm.
Inside the tunnel of the aquarium at the bird farm.
These ferries you just drive right onto and they start going - no parking the car and then getting out or anything, just drive the car on and start going - once you get to the other side you just keep driving as though nothing happened.
So, I know I've already posted a video with some crazy fish, but there were more! This other temple I went to with Wit's family had these fish too. There's something about these Thai people and keeping whacko fish.
The dozens of cross-legged buddha images lining one newer temple complex.
The inside of this temple complex is gorgeous. Ironically, Wit meant to tell me that the temple was not "finished", but in his still growing English, he said it's not "perfect". What a telling slip. :)
The stairs to the temple on top of the mountain near Wit's house. This is a good point in the blog to reflect on how much it has affected me to see the mountains (which I'm normally overwhelmed with love over) topped with temples everywhere. It has really marred my view of the beauty of God's creation to see man's mistaken idols perched right in the middle of everything here.
Wit's cousin, his sister Si, me, and his dad Phi ("Pee", just a common term of respect for someone older than you) Dhi at the temple.
Me and Wit on top of the mountain where we saw one of his town's most interesting temples.
(I hope to post some of Wit's family's pictures soon, too)
I don't think there was any religious significance to me doing this: this bell hangs at the temple complex and people get to ring it with this giant mallet.
The people believe that it brings you good luck to throw coins into the belly button of this big monk. I'm amazed still at how superstition and spiritism have made their way into the Buddhism of this society.
Me enjoying a nice armchair massage right in the middle of the mall.
Melanie and Fon following suit. Soon after this picture, Fon got up and left. I think while Melanie and I were perfectly ok with soaking up this relaxation without paying a dime, she felt a little uncomfortable sitting in the middle of an open, 5 story mall in some massage chairs.
Week 4 Further Insight
I feel myself coming into an interesting stage of being here now. I'm past the initial overwhelming pain and loss of being in a new culture alone. I'm therefore a little more familiar with my surroundings and the Thai people. So, there's this growing sense of wanting to be of use and to further my understanding of missions. And yet, the fact that I am very alone here, and that I still don't know the language (and won't to any real extent before I'm gone), and that the worth of my service isn't extremely apparent are still very present - and it's taxing. In addition to all that is the reality that a group of ten interns are coming from the U.S. in a couple weeks, which will place me smack dab in the middle of a community of Americans and will change my entire experience here. It leaves my emotions all confused about how to handle themselves.
So, I've been part of three pretty big events in the last week. The first was the initial day of promoting our club (University Christian Fellowship) on the college campus. Wow, what an awareness of uselessness. I made conversation with basically no new college students and for the most part I messed with my Rubik's cube, juggled, played the djimbe, and did whatever else I thought might draw attention to us so that the Thai Christians could just make conversation with new people and help them out with registration.
The second was this last weekend - my new friend Wit asked me to come to his hometown with him for a few days. I stayed with his family in their house/workshop Friday through Sunday. Lots of awesome stuff to mention here, but most of it will come out in pictures that I will post soon after I post this.
The third thing is what I just returned from - the planning retreat for the campus ministry staff. I've already said it once, but the beach resort we stayed at was absolutely beautiful! We got to live together in community, cook all our own meals (which I didn't really take part in - I don't exactly know how to go about cooking the Thai curries and soups that they make), swim in a pool, play soccer on the beach of the Bay of Thailand, and worship together in between our planning sessions. It was really a refreshing time with those people.
I also feel like I'm starting to get a better sense of who the Thai people are, and I'm beginning to see how their religion and philosophy permeates their lives. Buddhism is very much a religion of gentleness and "peace"; it's also one in which you can gain merit for good deeds done. The basic goal of Buddhism, though, is to free yourself from attachments of any kind. This means that as so many people have noted before, the Thai people are very gentle and hospitable and extremely kind to just about everyone. But I keep seeing all over the place how so many of them don't really seem to deeply love much of anything! The do a pretty darn good job of breaking their hearts from being attached to their surroundings. Many people - like Wit's family - probably wouldn't even consider themselves deeply religious, but the worldview has seeped into their lives regardless. Certainly they value things - particularly family. Yet, as one of the former interns has noted, the common Thai phrase "mai ben rai" really sums up this society's general attitude: "whatever", "it doesn't matter", "don't worry about it".
I've heard more and more from people who've told me that God has really connected their hearts to the work going on here, and what God's doing in and around me. The encouragement so many have given has spoken volumes to me; the Lord has undeniably brought comfort to my soul through the body of Christ. I dearly hope that as this time continues, your hearts will remain connected to the need here and to Christ's will to build His church - particularly through prayer.
The needs:
-My Soul. As I've told you more about what I feel and see in these people, you can understand that even as I have a growing heart to love and speak truth to them, I have also begun struggling more with little frustrations and/or annoyances with their way of thinking and living. Thankfully God has kept my spirit settled until now, but please pray He'll continue to do so. Also, the loneliness, feelings of being out-of-place, and feelings of uselessness remain.
-Wit. I can't foresee the future, but I can guess I will have an increasingly significant relationship with this really cool guy. He's not a believer, but very involved with the 20-something crowd at our church (particularly with interns who've come through).
-The Interns coming from the U.S. They'll have a bit of a different experience from me, but they'll have some of the same struggles dealing with their place in missions and being in a foreign place as I've had.
-The Campus Team. We're really starting up for the year now, and with the club getting going there are going to be more responsibilities and opportunities for us to share our faith (especially the Thai believers). In particular, the four Thai staff are seeking to mentor/disciple at least one unbeliever each in the course of the next school year.
As always, my heart is very much with you all even as it's here serving in this difficult place. We'll see what another week brings...
So, I've been part of three pretty big events in the last week. The first was the initial day of promoting our club (University Christian Fellowship) on the college campus. Wow, what an awareness of uselessness. I made conversation with basically no new college students and for the most part I messed with my Rubik's cube, juggled, played the djimbe, and did whatever else I thought might draw attention to us so that the Thai Christians could just make conversation with new people and help them out with registration.
The second was this last weekend - my new friend Wit asked me to come to his hometown with him for a few days. I stayed with his family in their house/workshop Friday through Sunday. Lots of awesome stuff to mention here, but most of it will come out in pictures that I will post soon after I post this.
The third thing is what I just returned from - the planning retreat for the campus ministry staff. I've already said it once, but the beach resort we stayed at was absolutely beautiful! We got to live together in community, cook all our own meals (which I didn't really take part in - I don't exactly know how to go about cooking the Thai curries and soups that they make), swim in a pool, play soccer on the beach of the Bay of Thailand, and worship together in between our planning sessions. It was really a refreshing time with those people.
I also feel like I'm starting to get a better sense of who the Thai people are, and I'm beginning to see how their religion and philosophy permeates their lives. Buddhism is very much a religion of gentleness and "peace"; it's also one in which you can gain merit for good deeds done. The basic goal of Buddhism, though, is to free yourself from attachments of any kind. This means that as so many people have noted before, the Thai people are very gentle and hospitable and extremely kind to just about everyone. But I keep seeing all over the place how so many of them don't really seem to deeply love much of anything! The do a pretty darn good job of breaking their hearts from being attached to their surroundings. Many people - like Wit's family - probably wouldn't even consider themselves deeply religious, but the worldview has seeped into their lives regardless. Certainly they value things - particularly family. Yet, as one of the former interns has noted, the common Thai phrase "mai ben rai" really sums up this society's general attitude: "whatever", "it doesn't matter", "don't worry about it".
I've heard more and more from people who've told me that God has really connected their hearts to the work going on here, and what God's doing in and around me. The encouragement so many have given has spoken volumes to me; the Lord has undeniably brought comfort to my soul through the body of Christ. I dearly hope that as this time continues, your hearts will remain connected to the need here and to Christ's will to build His church - particularly through prayer.
The needs:
-My Soul. As I've told you more about what I feel and see in these people, you can understand that even as I have a growing heart to love and speak truth to them, I have also begun struggling more with little frustrations and/or annoyances with their way of thinking and living. Thankfully God has kept my spirit settled until now, but please pray He'll continue to do so. Also, the loneliness, feelings of being out-of-place, and feelings of uselessness remain.
-Wit. I can't foresee the future, but I can guess I will have an increasingly significant relationship with this really cool guy. He's not a believer, but very involved with the 20-something crowd at our church (particularly with interns who've come through).
-The Interns coming from the U.S. They'll have a bit of a different experience from me, but they'll have some of the same struggles dealing with their place in missions and being in a foreign place as I've had.
-The Campus Team. We're really starting up for the year now, and with the club getting going there are going to be more responsibilities and opportunities for us to share our faith (especially the Thai believers). In particular, the four Thai staff are seeking to mentor/disciple at least one unbeliever each in the course of the next school year.
As always, my heart is very much with you all even as it's here serving in this difficult place. We'll see what another week brings...
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Week 4 is Coming
I am just writing this quick note to let those of you who read this know that I'm on a retreat with the campus ministry staff from our church (at an absolutely beautiful beach with mountains rising straight from the water in the distance...suffering in paradise for a few days). Please pray for our wisdom as we finish up tomorrow. I hope to get to posting about the last week Wednesday night or Thursday. My heart continues to long for your prayers...
Monday, May 4, 2009
Week 3 Pictures
The River Market in the Ancient City
Me playing a giant drum in the Ancient City.
Me playing that giant drum again. My skills are so quick you can't even keep the camera on me.
Mac and Me on a man-made mountain in the Ancient City
Mac and Me again - this time I've got my eyes closed.
Two paintings I stumbled across in an art display in the ancient city.
Another painting in the Ancient City.
Mac, Pa, and me sitting in some interesting traditional instruments in the "Ancient City". The Ancient City is this place they've set up in Bangkok shaped like Thailand that has dozens of ancient sites - either taken from the original site and brought there or recreated as authentically as possible. We spent the whole day there and saw some really awesome stuff.
Go, Pat, and Tim. Go and Pat are my roommates, Tim is the intern coordinator (Among other jobs). Great guys - this is in the office.
These crazy fish went wild when we fed them at the river market in the Ancient City. I don't think the video will even do them justice.
Week 3: Surprises and Settledness
Every single time I've gotten on my computer to try to express what has happened and where my heart is, I'm at a complete loss as to where to start! I feel like one week in my life here holds the weight and experiences of a month or more in the states. In the last seven days, the Lord has brought very good surprises, the realization of long-term struggles, and some much-welcomed peace and comfort.
Saturday evening I was talking with my missionary friend Tim about the loneliness that I continue to feel here. I think his response is the most telling and accurate way to explain this experience to you. He told me, after having been on the field for four years now, that the loneliness is something that's just always with you. I'm in a place where everything is unfamiliar - people, places, foods, customs, merchandise, government, language, etc. And I constantly feel out-of-place. Some of my closest Thai friends - those Christians who work at the church with me - played cards with me Sunday afternoon. But some of them don't know English, and the others feel more comfortable speaking Thai. So, even though I was enjoying a game of cards with my brothers and sisters in Christ, I was still an American looking in from the outside, wondering what exactly was going on.
Yet, there have been some beautiful surprises in the last week, too. Wednesday night I came home to my roommate, Pat, already asleep. He woke up to a phone call about an hour later, as I was going to bed, and despite the fact that we struggle through every conversation with his limited English, we stayed up nearly an hour talking about the deep pain that he feels so often, and I got to pray for him. He needs the prayer of God's people as much if not more than I do. The loneliness, confusion, and feelings of ineffectiveness that I struggle with, he feels too. But, at the end of the conversation, the greatest encouragement was that over it all he knows that before he met Jesus, he had no hope and no joy. Yet, now that he trusts Christ for everything, he knows he has a hope for the future, and he has joy in knowing Christ.
Instead of telling all of the stories from this past week, I think recounting Monday night will give a good picture of where I now find myself. After taking an afternoon nap, I groggily wake up to go play basketball with the guys at the college. When I get there, my new friend Wit calls my name out from the gym, and I go and sit with him between his badminton games. We have a good conversation, I meet a man named Sooy and his son Ki-o, and Wit and I plan to have dinner and maybe see Star Trek on Thursday.
From there I leave the gym and go outside to play basketball. I'm the only farang (a.k.a. - white American) playing most days, which means I'm the only one not speaking Thai as well. My team and I lose all four games we play (despite the fact that I'm the tallest person on the court). At one point - I think - one of my teammates defends my right to play over another guy who just got there (but who knows, maybe they were joking about how they just wanted a tall white guy on the court!). For the most part I don't share conversation with anyone, since I can't get past "how are you" and their names. But just before my last game, I meet a guy named Nat (a.k.a. - "Hon"). He explains that he doesn't know much English, doesn't have time to take classes, but really wants to learn. So, he figures the best way to do that is to share conversation with an American.
We decide to have dinner at the market, and I end up forcing him to let me pay "this one time" (there's my financial support doing one thing it was set aside to do). We struggle through awkward conversation in English as he tries to teach me some Thai as well. We talk about where we live, what he does for work, what he likes to eat, how I know Paul (our mutual friend who just came back to the U.S.), and movies among other things. Since Tuesday is a holiday, he'll be playing basketball twice, and he's not really interested in seeing a movie with me and my friends. We leave with the Thai "wi" and American handshake - a funny picture of two worlds colliding here.
As I walk away - in the wrong direction at first - I am struck with a mix of emotions and thoughts. I realize that I've finally made a Thai friend outside of the church, and hope that God uses whatever time we have together this summer to open his heart to faith. Yet, I also realize just how hard the hearts of these people are to the gospel - their contentedness in their easy-going lives is hard to break into with any alternative. Nat exemplifies a Thai person who is so gentle and welcoming, but who makes it obvious from the get-go that he's not going to readily open up his heart to me. Then, I personally see that even though I have just made a new friend, and am coming off a couple of really fun, comforting days, I am still an American living in a Thai world. I'm still an outsider in so many ways. But, while I'm walking home, I can't forget the reality that I'm doing exactly what God has set out for me to do. With all my inadequacies and inabilities, I'm simply serving here, and God will finish just what He wants to in spite of (or because of) everything I can't do.
So, then, maybe you've just been waiting to hear about the newest cultural experiences that I've had!? Well, I have discovered one thing that is very bad for my health: rotee. This delicious concoction of fried bread dough, scrambled/fried egg, sugar, an optional fruit, and condensed milk has taken hold of my heart (in literal ways probably too)! Since discovering them last week I think I've eaten five. I also went to the ancient city (more on that in the picture post). I tried pumpkin curry, ate McDonald's via delivery boy, saw multiple water buffalo, and watched and tried to play ta-kraw (this crazy game with a bamboo ball that's basically volleyball with your feet - check this out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LXmjOMUdsPY). I've yet to drink soda from a bag, but I want to.
This post has already been extremely long, but I want to give you a clear picture of where we need prayer. As the inadequacies continue to be realized, I see how the growth of God's kingdom so deeply involves the prayers of His people:
-The Thai Christians and Career Missionaries. The Thai Christians, especially are the ones who really have the platform and cultural understanding to share their faith. They also have the long-term work in mind. The career missionaries particularly deal with loneliness and frustrations of ineffectiveness, as well.
-The ministries at New Community Church. In the next couple months we have three camps (and camps are almost always important in building community and sharing the gospel with people who would otherwise not hear). 1) I was introduced to the mercy ministry in Mahad Thai (the local slum) this week. My eyes were opened to the deep needs of those people, and the cycle of poverty they're stuck in. Yet, the mercy ministry is blossoming unlike any of the others, and children are coming into the church in beautiful ways through that ministry. 2) The campus ministry really takes off this week, and tomorrow we have the freshman orientation day where our newly formed University Christian Fellowship club will have a booth. 3) English classes continue to bring people to the church who otherwise wouldn't be there. We have a camp next month that a lot of planning is going into.
-Wit and Nat - my two Thai friends who are unbelievers, and whom I dearly hope the Lord brings to faith in Christ.
-My service. I forgot to tell you last week that I have the opportunity to write the daily devotion (the "Daily Manna") for the church for the month of June. I will post those devotionals daily during June here on the blog, too. Also, I continue to hope that God will use my service in teaching English, hanging out with college people, and doing whatever else for His glory (despite my lack of obvious use).
Already I've written too much. May God make this scripture come to pass for you all as well as for the Thai people: "I will give them one heart and one way, that they may fear me forever, for their own good and the good of their children after them...I will rejoice in doing them good." -Jeremiah 32.39, 41
Saturday evening I was talking with my missionary friend Tim about the loneliness that I continue to feel here. I think his response is the most telling and accurate way to explain this experience to you. He told me, after having been on the field for four years now, that the loneliness is something that's just always with you. I'm in a place where everything is unfamiliar - people, places, foods, customs, merchandise, government, language, etc. And I constantly feel out-of-place. Some of my closest Thai friends - those Christians who work at the church with me - played cards with me Sunday afternoon. But some of them don't know English, and the others feel more comfortable speaking Thai. So, even though I was enjoying a game of cards with my brothers and sisters in Christ, I was still an American looking in from the outside, wondering what exactly was going on.
Yet, there have been some beautiful surprises in the last week, too. Wednesday night I came home to my roommate, Pat, already asleep. He woke up to a phone call about an hour later, as I was going to bed, and despite the fact that we struggle through every conversation with his limited English, we stayed up nearly an hour talking about the deep pain that he feels so often, and I got to pray for him. He needs the prayer of God's people as much if not more than I do. The loneliness, confusion, and feelings of ineffectiveness that I struggle with, he feels too. But, at the end of the conversation, the greatest encouragement was that over it all he knows that before he met Jesus, he had no hope and no joy. Yet, now that he trusts Christ for everything, he knows he has a hope for the future, and he has joy in knowing Christ.
Instead of telling all of the stories from this past week, I think recounting Monday night will give a good picture of where I now find myself. After taking an afternoon nap, I groggily wake up to go play basketball with the guys at the college. When I get there, my new friend Wit calls my name out from the gym, and I go and sit with him between his badminton games. We have a good conversation, I meet a man named Sooy and his son Ki-o, and Wit and I plan to have dinner and maybe see Star Trek on Thursday.
From there I leave the gym and go outside to play basketball. I'm the only farang (a.k.a. - white American) playing most days, which means I'm the only one not speaking Thai as well. My team and I lose all four games we play (despite the fact that I'm the tallest person on the court). At one point - I think - one of my teammates defends my right to play over another guy who just got there (but who knows, maybe they were joking about how they just wanted a tall white guy on the court!). For the most part I don't share conversation with anyone, since I can't get past "how are you" and their names. But just before my last game, I meet a guy named Nat (a.k.a. - "Hon"). He explains that he doesn't know much English, doesn't have time to take classes, but really wants to learn. So, he figures the best way to do that is to share conversation with an American.
We decide to have dinner at the market, and I end up forcing him to let me pay "this one time" (there's my financial support doing one thing it was set aside to do). We struggle through awkward conversation in English as he tries to teach me some Thai as well. We talk about where we live, what he does for work, what he likes to eat, how I know Paul (our mutual friend who just came back to the U.S.), and movies among other things. Since Tuesday is a holiday, he'll be playing basketball twice, and he's not really interested in seeing a movie with me and my friends. We leave with the Thai "wi" and American handshake - a funny picture of two worlds colliding here.
As I walk away - in the wrong direction at first - I am struck with a mix of emotions and thoughts. I realize that I've finally made a Thai friend outside of the church, and hope that God uses whatever time we have together this summer to open his heart to faith. Yet, I also realize just how hard the hearts of these people are to the gospel - their contentedness in their easy-going lives is hard to break into with any alternative. Nat exemplifies a Thai person who is so gentle and welcoming, but who makes it obvious from the get-go that he's not going to readily open up his heart to me. Then, I personally see that even though I have just made a new friend, and am coming off a couple of really fun, comforting days, I am still an American living in a Thai world. I'm still an outsider in so many ways. But, while I'm walking home, I can't forget the reality that I'm doing exactly what God has set out for me to do. With all my inadequacies and inabilities, I'm simply serving here, and God will finish just what He wants to in spite of (or because of) everything I can't do.
So, then, maybe you've just been waiting to hear about the newest cultural experiences that I've had!? Well, I have discovered one thing that is very bad for my health: rotee. This delicious concoction of fried bread dough, scrambled/fried egg, sugar, an optional fruit, and condensed milk has taken hold of my heart (in literal ways probably too)! Since discovering them last week I think I've eaten five. I also went to the ancient city (more on that in the picture post). I tried pumpkin curry, ate McDonald's via delivery boy, saw multiple water buffalo, and watched and tried to play ta-kraw (this crazy game with a bamboo ball that's basically volleyball with your feet - check this out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LXmjOMUdsPY). I've yet to drink soda from a bag, but I want to.
This post has already been extremely long, but I want to give you a clear picture of where we need prayer. As the inadequacies continue to be realized, I see how the growth of God's kingdom so deeply involves the prayers of His people:
-The Thai Christians and Career Missionaries. The Thai Christians, especially are the ones who really have the platform and cultural understanding to share their faith. They also have the long-term work in mind. The career missionaries particularly deal with loneliness and frustrations of ineffectiveness, as well.
-The ministries at New Community Church. In the next couple months we have three camps (and camps are almost always important in building community and sharing the gospel with people who would otherwise not hear). 1) I was introduced to the mercy ministry in Mahad Thai (the local slum) this week. My eyes were opened to the deep needs of those people, and the cycle of poverty they're stuck in. Yet, the mercy ministry is blossoming unlike any of the others, and children are coming into the church in beautiful ways through that ministry. 2) The campus ministry really takes off this week, and tomorrow we have the freshman orientation day where our newly formed University Christian Fellowship club will have a booth. 3) English classes continue to bring people to the church who otherwise wouldn't be there. We have a camp next month that a lot of planning is going into.
-Wit and Nat - my two Thai friends who are unbelievers, and whom I dearly hope the Lord brings to faith in Christ.
-My service. I forgot to tell you last week that I have the opportunity to write the daily devotion (the "Daily Manna") for the church for the month of June. I will post those devotionals daily during June here on the blog, too. Also, I continue to hope that God will use my service in teaching English, hanging out with college people, and doing whatever else for His glory (despite my lack of obvious use).
Already I've written too much. May God make this scripture come to pass for you all as well as for the Thai people: "I will give them one heart and one way, that they may fear me forever, for their own good and the good of their children after them...I will rejoice in doing them good." -Jeremiah 32.39, 41
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