Week 4 Further Insight

I feel myself coming into an interesting stage of being here now. I'm past the initial overwhelming pain and loss of being in a new culture alone. I'm therefore a little more familiar with my surroundings and the Thai people. So, there's this growing sense of wanting to be of use and to further my understanding of missions. And yet, the fact that I am very alone here, and that I still don't know the language (and won't to any real extent before I'm gone), and that the worth of my service isn't extremely apparent are still very present - and it's taxing. In addition to all that is the reality that a group of ten interns are coming from the U.S. in a couple weeks, which will place me smack dab in the middle of a community of Americans and will change my entire experience here. It leaves my emotions all confused about how to handle themselves.

So, I've been part of three pretty big events in the last week. The first was the initial day of promoting our club (University Christian Fellowship) on the college campus. Wow, what an awareness of uselessness. I made conversation with basically no new college students and for the most part I messed with my Rubik's cube, juggled, played the djimbe, and did whatever else I thought might draw attention to us so that the Thai Christians could just make conversation with new people and help them out with registration.

The second was this last weekend - my new friend Wit asked me to come to his hometown with him for a few days. I stayed with his family in their house/workshop Friday through Sunday. Lots of awesome stuff to mention here, but most of it will come out in pictures that I will post soon after I post this.

The third thing is what I just returned from - the planning retreat for the campus ministry staff. I've already said it once, but the beach resort we stayed at was absolutely beautiful! We got to live together in community, cook all our own meals (which I didn't really take part in - I don't exactly know how to go about cooking the Thai curries and soups that they make), swim in a pool, play soccer on the beach of the Bay of Thailand, and worship together in between our planning sessions. It was really a refreshing time with those people.

I also feel like I'm starting to get a better sense of who the Thai people are, and I'm beginning to see how their religion and philosophy permeates their lives. Buddhism is very much a religion of gentleness and "peace"; it's also one in which you can gain merit for good deeds done. The basic goal of Buddhism, though, is to free yourself from attachments of any kind. This means that as so many people have noted before, the Thai people are very gentle and hospitable and extremely kind to just about everyone. But I keep seeing all over the place how so many of them don't really seem to deeply love much of anything! The do a pretty darn good job of breaking their hearts from being attached to their surroundings. Many people - like Wit's family - probably wouldn't even consider themselves deeply religious, but the worldview has seeped into their lives regardless. Certainly they value things - particularly family. Yet, as one of the former interns has noted, the common Thai phrase "mai ben rai" really sums up this society's general attitude: "whatever", "it doesn't matter", "don't worry about it".

I've heard more and more from people who've told me that God has really connected their hearts to the work going on here, and what God's doing in and around me. The encouragement so many have given has spoken volumes to me; the Lord has undeniably brought comfort to my soul through the body of Christ. I dearly hope that as this time continues, your hearts will remain connected to the need here and to Christ's will to build His church - particularly through prayer.

The needs:
-My Soul. As I've told you more about what I feel and see in these people, you can understand that even as I have a growing heart to love and speak truth to them, I have also begun struggling more with little frustrations and/or annoyances with their way of thinking and living. Thankfully God has kept my spirit settled until now, but please pray He'll continue to do so. Also, the loneliness, feelings of being out-of-place, and feelings of uselessness remain.
-Wit. I can't foresee the future, but I can guess I will have an increasingly significant relationship with this really cool guy. He's not a believer, but very involved with the 20-something crowd at our church (particularly with interns who've come through).
-The Interns coming from the U.S. They'll have a bit of a different experience from me, but they'll have some of the same struggles dealing with their place in missions and being in a foreign place as I've had.
-The Campus Team. We're really starting up for the year now, and with the club getting going there are going to be more responsibilities and opportunities for us to share our faith (especially the Thai believers). In particular, the four Thai staff are seeking to mentor/disciple at least one unbeliever each in the course of the next school year.

As always, my heart is very much with you all even as it's here serving in this difficult place. We'll see what another week brings...